My niece is getting married today. It is so exciting! They have so many wonderful times ahead. And some challenges and adjustments. You cannot really explain the latter to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. We all go in thinking we “know” that there will be some trials of varying degree but we cannot really know until we have been there for a few. The learning and growth comes in how we handle the trials.
A couple weeks ago we had a shower for her, as is customary. It was a lovely gathering at an absolutely gorgeous home. I met the hostess and complimented her on it. She said yes, we worked and saved and had a goal. Beautiful!
The attendees were mostly young friends of the bridal couple with a few of us aunt and mom types thrown in for fun. We played the requisite game that seems to come with these events. But this game was actually fun and helpful. We were each to write one piece of advice for the young bride and then the longest married attendee would decide the winner. The responses were surprisingly good bits of wisdom. Even those who had scoffed at writing something because they haven’t yet found “the one” offered excellent tips for living a better married life. One of these young ladies suggested being yourself and taking time for yourself. Perfect! As the lovingME life lady, I was so proud that one of the other girls was helping me spread the word!
My advice was short and to the point. Stay in the positive room. These are words for each of us every day, actually, not just for gushing brides on the cusp of their wedding day. Staying focused on and grateful for every good thing in your life is the recipe for a wonderful marriage, a fantastic career, just a joyous happy life that keeps improving and growing. The alternative, which is all too easy to do and follow when others start – to go down the path to the complaining room – leads to certain pain and frustration. What we focus on and tend to grows. Why would anyone want to grow anything but the good stuff?