It took me a very long time to understand the concept of surrender. I thought that surrendering was weakness. I thought surrendering was giving up. I thought that surrendering was quitting. Never surrender was my motto.
When we were kids, my older brother would get me on the ground and pin me, his knees on my arms, so that I couldn’t move. Oh, the funny ways siblings show their love for one another and maintain order in the pack! Ahem, I digress. In that state, he would then take my arms and punch me with them saying, “Why are you hitting yourself?” and “Stop punching yourself!” This would go on until I would surrender and basically tap out (not physically because I didn’t have use of my arms, of course).
I didn’t particularly care for this game. And yet I would prolong it. I knew the rules. I knew how to stop the torture. But it often took much longer for me to get it, to realize that I could indeed stop punching myself. All it took was surrender to what was. I couldn’t change the fact that I was smaller and not as strong as he was. I couldn’t change that I wasn’t as developed intellectually yet so I couldn’t really outwit him. So I fought it. The more I fought, the more fun the game was. My siblings told me so but I couldn’t understand it and kept fighting back, a losing battle.
I have come to realize that life is like that. The more I fight, resist and refuse to accept what is, the more I struggle and the more pain I cause myself. With every bit of resistance, the fight grows and worsens because I am feeding it more negative energy. When I stop fighting, when I accept what is and surrender to it, the fight goes out of it, too.
I know what you are thinking. I used to think it, too. But wait, no, if I don’t fight then who will? If I don’t do something, say something and fix this then it will get out of hand. It will just grow on the apathy. First I ask, will it? Will it, really? In your experience, your personal experience, when you have chosen not to fight and accepted the situation as it is, has the anger grown or has it more often dissolved?
I am not saying that we are to do nothing. Far from it. I am not saying that we are to just live in any circumstance that we are handed and not care. Again, quite the contrary. I am saying that surrender is the first step in changing that circumstance. Once we are no longer fighting, then we can move from our reptilian brain into our problem-solving creative brain. Only from this place can we develop innovative solutions and make excellent decisions.
I have a bracelet that says, “Let go and let God.” I choose to live by this, as I am conscious to do so. I am here to say I ain’t ever going back to punching myself. There is no need for there is a better way.