It is very hard to get what you want if you are not clear on what that is. Sometimes it is a general sense that you just want to get better. Sometimes it is that you just want the pain to stop or the happiness to continue. Sometimes it is that you just want something. Different.
In those times it helps to seek clarity. What specifically would you want to be different? If you could pick one thing today (and you can) that you would like to improve, what would that be?
For me today, it is communication. Real, honest, meaningful. Communication. No holds barred, raw, true, communication. Connection.
The how will come now that I know the what. The “what” plus courage and openness to possibility leads to the “how.” We are not really taught to ask ourselves at a core level what we want. We have, most of us anyway, been taught to just be satisfied with what we have, don’t ask for anything because you aren’t getting it anyway, to ask for nothing and save ourselves the inevitable disappointment. Don’t be greedy. Asking for more or something else, the thinking goes, makes one a selfish ingrate.
Well, I am here to give you permission to ask, and to ask clearly. Asking for more does not have to mean that you are not grateful for what you have. On the contrary! The more grateful and respectful I am of what I have been given, the more comfortable and better I am at asking for more and being more specific about what I want. And the more specific and thankful I am the more likely I am to get just that.