Growing up our teachers, parents and others suggested that we work on our weaknesses. In my case, it was instruction to focus on handwriting. I was told, many times, how bad my cursive was. I was told that I was an excellent student in all categories but that one. I would get straight As or stars or whatever and one C or checkmark.

But I hated practicing handwriting. The more I was told to improve it and how bad it was, the more I hated it. I looked at my friends who had wonderful handwriting and thought, wow, I will never write like that. I was right. Probably mostly because I thought that and thus knew it to be true/willed it to be so.

I understand that attaining a certain level of competency in the basics is important. I support that completely. But what if, instead of harping on the one thing that held no interest for me, the one thing that made me feel bad and inferior, I had been encouraged and asked what I would like to do more? What if my teacher or parents said to me wow, you really like creating greeting cards and you are excellent at math and spelling and English. How about we work more in those areas of natural strength and see where we can go?

I wonder now if I really had such poor penmanship or if it was just “different.” What if I had been told that my handwriting was unique and special and nice? Would that have made a difference in my approach or competency? Would those words have encouraged me to practice it more and improve it, now that I saw it as a strength instead of a weakness?

I am suggesting that we work on our strengths and overlook our weaknesses or reclassify them as strengths. Let’s get someone who excels in our true weak areas to handle them for us. I am not recommending a total give-up, but beyond basic competency, why beat our heads against the wall? I am also not suggesting that we stop continually trying new things, for in trying new things we discover and deepen our interests and abilities.

Do you think that we were created with certain skills, desires, likes and affinities just to be forced to do the things that we don’t like or at which we do not excel? I think not. We are here to do what we like and are good at, and to do it at our highest possible level. A flower isn’t here to feed a lion. Not directly anyway. Nature all works together in perfect harmony. Why is it that we forget that we are part of nature?

My dad was a very hard worker. He was in the military and ran his life according to the plan. He “retired” from service after 20+ years. Then he got a job on “the outside.” My whole life I heard that term in reference to anything that was not military. Jobs not on base or active duty. Groceries not bought at the commissary. Even brunch that wasn’t at the Officer’s Club. Those things were on “the outside.”

Dad had devoted his entire career to defending and serving our country. I know he believed in it strongly despite not overtly discussing it much. He worked and worked and sought to climb the ranks of that organization. He was met with mixed success. Dad was a leader but no politician. He was a hard working, brilliant man who reported for duty and took that very seriously. He loved it.

Once he left the military, he followed a similar routine in his new civilian job. I don’t think it was the same, though. I think it was harder on him than we will ever know. It was such a big change.

He worked all of those years and he and my mom raised six children together. They would retire in another decade or so. They would be able to reap the rewards of all that they had worked so hard to create and build over the years. They would travel and relax and spend the quality time together that six kids and military life makes difficult.

And then came the diagnosis. His life, his memory, his ability to function, his ability to be him was slipping away. It seemed to go so fast and in some ways it did. But as I look back now, we had lots and lots of really good days that were missed because of the shock of it. We had a lack of understanding then. We, or I especially, didn’t have the wisdom to just cherish the present days versus dwelling on what was surely to come. I couldn’t see the good we still had for mourning what was already lost. I do not blame or judge myself for that. It’s just the way it was.

I was 23 when he was diagnosed. That was a lesson delivered harshly for me. Even still, it would take many, many more years for me to really understand about enjoying today for today and giving thanks in the moment. It took a little less for me to see the folly of the retirement mindset. Now is all we have. Now is enough. Now is amazing. Now is the time. Enjoy it. Do what you are here to do.

How is your energy? Do you spring out of bed ready for a great day? Do you hit snooze and roll over? Do you make it through the day on coffee, sugar and carbs? Do you fuel your day with passion for what you are doing and experiencing?

Oh come on, Suz! Fuel my day with passion for what I am doing? What I am experiencing? I am grinding out my day making a living and I am experiencing the frustration of working in a job where I can scarcely breathe much of the time. Then I have all of my home assignments. There is no time for my own passions. And what passions, anyway?

If any of that sounds like you, it is time to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. It is time to get some time alone and ask yourself what it is that you desire. Ask yourself why you are doing the things you are doing. Go through each item on your to do list one by one. Why am I doing this? What is the benefit here? Is this advancing me toward my main goal?

Stop doing everything that isn’t a must do. There should only be a couple of these a day if you are really being honest with yourself. You can delegate some of the things on the to do. Some things are unnecessary or time wasters anyway. And still other items will probably go away on their own or get done in some other way. It’s the Pareto Principle. As a Certified ScrumMaster, I guide the team to cut out all but the main commitment and protect that commitment above all other interference. You are your own ScrumMaster.

Rushing and overwhelm gets you nothing but more rushing and overwhelm. Slowing down and being purposeful, taking time to ask yourself a few questions can make a huge difference in your energy, your calmness, and your productivity.

Don’t know what your passion is? Don’t know what your main goal is? The same process will help you find it. Go inside. Ask the questions. Be present and listen for the answers.

Need help? Here is a good place to start.

I live in a world of words. I hear words, read words and write words all day nearly every day. And yet, I am so frequently at a loss for words that actually convey the meaning that I care to convey. My desire is to bless everyone I encounter, whether that is here in my writing, in person, on the phone or text. Those I will never meet but with whom I cross paths in some way or fashion, even if that simply means us both living here on earth.

I looked up the meaning of the word bless as it is a word that I use often. Webster defines it as the following.

Bless, verb \ˈbles

: to make (something or someone) holy by saying a special prayer
: to ask God to care for and protect (someone or something)
: to provide (a person, place, etc.) with something good or desirable

I used to cringe when I heard someone use the term who wasn’t a priest or God Himself. When I heard people say bless the Lord, I was taken aback. What does that mean? How can one bless the One who blesses? How arrogant, I once thought. Since then, I realized that it is something we can all do by my definition and even Webster’s.

In my world, it is not a religious rite reserved for ceremony by church officials. It is simply sharing love and honor and a prayer for good and desirable things for that person. It is me placing my energy into that person in a positive way that they may prosper from it. It is me requesting divine favor for them and seeing wonderful outcomes for them and giving thanks for those in advance.

I bless each of you and thank you for sharing my life with me. We are changing the world with our blessings.

I love my life. I know I say that all of the time. I say it because it is true. It is true because I say it. I acknowledge it. I feed and care for it.

One of the best ways I feed my life is by feeding my body with exercise. In elementary school, I was one of the fattest kids in my class. This was way before we had the childhood obesity trend that we see in areas today. I hated exercise. I loved to play outside, swim, hike and climb along the creek behind our house and ride my bike. But I hated to exercise. Ha! I remember them making us run laps around the schoolyard in gym class. Oh the horror! The only thing worse was square dancing day. As a fat girl.

I am using the words fat and fat girl not in support of these terms but to explain the reality of how I felt. To convey the truth of what I was called and what I had internalized. At the time I thought those words described me so they did. I now realize that it doesn’t describe me at all and never really did. But it did help to create who I am today and I am grateful for it.

In the seventh grade something clicked. I realized that I was good at traditional exercise when I did it consistently. I started doing sit-ups every night. My abs got really strong and my best friend used to punch me in the stomach as anger management. Pre-teen angst! I let her, of course, and was proud that I could brace my abs and take it.

Since then I have almost always had some kind of exercise plan and practice. It is a routine and a habit and my body thanks me for it. I have recently added in some stretching and yoga-type moves. Not really my style as I like quick, intense and effective. Okay, that is my style for nearly everything else, too, but I digress. These practices are helping me gain flexibility and suppleness. Those are great tools to have in the bag.

What did you like to do as a kid? What activity did you do that you never saw as exercise? Did you play ball? Were you part of a team? Did you dance? Did you do gymnastics? What did you most enjoy doing and why? What was the feeling you had when you did it? How would you like to feel that again? How about you do it?

I am continually learning about observing vs. judging. This one has so many layers that it continues to surprise me. I realize that although I have, in years past, prided myself on being open-minded and non-judgmental, that it was an illusion I sold myself. Oh, I was good at the broad categories and protected classes. But not so much everything else. I would get so upset when I saw people acting or speaking in what I considered judgmental ways. How dare they judge? How could they be so arrogant, cruel, mean, pious, small-minded, etc., etc.? Their apparent flaw really got to me. Do you see what I did there? I projected my biases, my judgment onto others and in the process, uh, judged the heck out of them. I woke up to that and realized that I was frustrated by what I saw in others that I disliked in myself.

I have been so against judgment that I have judged myself and others harshly for doing so. I also just realized that I have, as tends to happen when we attempt to overcorrect, swung so far in the other direction that I have judged myself for very normal observations and reactions. For instance, yesterday, my husband was watching a show on TV as I was in the kitchen. The voice of the announcer was irritating to me. I immediately went inside myself, which is a habit I have in reaction to any irritation or troubled thoughts or feelings I experience (this is a great habit, by the way, and one I suggest you give a try.) I asked myself why I was judging her. I then blessed her and gave thanks for her uniqueness and her ability to create a fantastic show and lifestyle for herself. A few minutes later my husband commented that someone should have instructed her on how not to speak through her nose. Wow. Observation. Not really a judgment. She has a profession where a pleasing speaking voice is paramount. 100% of the data in my very small sample revealed that the voice on the recording was not pleasing. This is nothing against her personally in any way. Simply fact. An observation of this small sample.

It is a process. I am on the journey. You are on the journey. We are getting better every single day.

But we all make judgments about people and things. We stereotype. We assume. Our brains are designed to categorize things as we sift through the millions (billions?) of inputs we receive all day every day. It is how we are designed so that we can eliminate all of the “noise” and only focus on what is relevant to the moment. So I now forgive myself for my judgments when I see that I have made them. I can also do this now for others without even thinking. For myself, I watch for opportunity to improve but I don’t beat myself up about any slip-ups either. However, my goal, my desire, is to watch without judgment and to merely observe and see what I can learn. I observe the displeasing voice on the TV. I observe the internal struggle I have and really define observing vs. judging. I love myself enough to be present, learn and continually advance. I learn to be more conscious of my speaking voice and look to improve that for the work that I am called to do. I bless, and give thanks for, the woman to whom the voice belongs. I give her kudos as well for she has made it despite any perceived limitations. What a great lesson in all of that.

More people are talking about gratitude these days than ever it seems. That is a fantastic thing. It truly does hold power beyond our comprehension. To think on things above and be grateful is a whole new world for most of us. When we make a habit of this, we suddenly have a hundred fold more for which to be grateful. What we turn our attention to is magnified and multiplied.

It is so easy to listen to and follow all of the bad. To talk about it, grumble about it and jump on the bandwagon to bemoan it all and lament the horrible state of everything. Much of our society does this. If you look at the news shows and even entertainment shows you will see that the vast majority of it is stuff you wouldn’t like to have happen to you. So, ask yourself, why am I drawn to this? Why am I allowing this into my world? Why am I choosing to focus on this? Do I understand that I am creating more of it in my life?

We forget that all inputs affect us. All of them. Some on very subtle levels and some at blatant levels. Who of us didn’t stay glued to the TV, paralyzed after 9-11? I know that I pretty much stayed in bed watching that all day and evening for days. I had a TV in the bedroom then, which is another thing I am glad to have let go. That is a separate topic for another time. I sat there thinking how bad this was and how awful and how our lives were changed and how they were coming after me next. It was a huge fear producing, fear magnifying time. What did it gain me for buying into it? Did that worry and anxiety and the immersion in all that fed it grow me one cubit? I think not. Yes, a lot of good came out of the whole thing overall. Of course, good always does and I am thankful for that. Personally, I am grateful to be able to see and learn from the experience.

I realized that sitting in fear watching other people live or die on TV, based on some reporter’s account, does not in any way advance my world or my contribution to the world at large. Consuming and contributing to the mass of negative energy is not in my best interest or anyone else’s. You might say that my view is myopic and one sided, perhaps even naive. I would say, you bet it is. On purpose. That stuff doesn’t help me. I choose to keep my mind on what is pure, good, right, lovely and of good report. I hear about the tragedies. I hear of the outrage that happens in the world despite not seeking them out. When I do, I pray and send positive thoughts for those affected. I am grateful in advance for the good that will inevitably come out of it and I move forward with my life mission.

Some will judge me harshly for my stance on this and that is their right and privilege. They will say that I should get involved and be informed. I understand that point. However, in my opinion, the most significant and impactful way that I can help is to live my best life, encourage and teach others to do the same and to show the way. I look for, find and give thanks for all of the good, even the good in less than ideal circumstances. When we can routinely find and draw out the good in all situations, that is where the power just explodes. My prayers and thoughts of a positive outcome, coupled with my commitment to transforming my own life and the lives of anyone who is ready to join me is my best weapon, my best medicine and my best act of service. I am filled with deepest appreciation and thanks to be able to do just that.

I love to help. I love to receive help. I used to not be as open to receiving help as I am now. I suppose I also wasn’t as open to giving help as I am now, if I really look at it. I have always considered myself a giver. I gave until it hurt. I would give even when I did so begrudgingly. I realize now that I was giving to “get.” I liked to give but deep down I kept score on what I would get back and from whom. I also often refused the very people who cared to give to me. I guess I thought there was some kind of balance sheet in their heads. Because there sure was in mine. And I always wanted to be on the heavy positive side of that balance sheet. I never wanted to owe anyone anything.

Accepting gifts, praise, money, you name it, was difficult for me. I would often subtly or outright refuse it. I once had a knockdown, literally, over the dinner check. We were laughing so hard but my friend actually chased me across the restaurant to wrestle it from me. Once on the ground, I finally let her pay. I remember thinking at the time, man, I cannot believe that she would go to those lengths. Well, obviously, my habitual refusal was the catalyst for such lengths! I didn’t realize that accepting graciously is also a gift and refusing a genuine offer is rejection. I hadn’t considered that I was robbing others of the joy of giving to me. I understood the joy of giving, because I experienced it when I gave. But I hadn’t thought it through regarding the other side of the equation.

Now I go to give. Period. There is no score whatsoever. I know that I will be more than taken care of when I just give openly and receive openly. It may not be from the same source but I am always blessed, whether giving or receiving. I love to receive with love, gratitude and thanksgiving and I love to give with love, gratitude and thanksgiving. Whether giving or receiving, I bless the other party and they bless me. It is perfect harmony.

I mentioned that a dear friend just ended her stint working for “the man.” I am so proud of her. She has struggled a bit with what to say to inquiring minds who ask because she is so young and vibrant. The question is inevitable. “And, what do you do?” I said to tell the truth. “I am living!”

How about we think of it as a time to regroup, restore, remake and recreate, regain our purpose and life path? Recalibrate and revive the passion that makes us truly alive. Realign with our true desires and calling. Reconnect with the dreams of our childhood. Leave the job? Absolutely! Retire? Never. Now begins our life’s work. And you do not have to wait until you leave your job to do this.

One of my dearest friends and mentors is retiring today. I don’t really know how old she is but it is nowhere near 65. Or 67. Or 70 or whatever age they are saying now. She told me about 5 years ago, maybe even fewer, about how she was planning her life and making strides to become self-sufficient. By that I mean that her investments would produce sufficient income that she would no longer require a job to pay her bills and maintain and expand her lifestyle. Here it is just a few years later and she has “made it.”

I am not a fan of retirement. At least not in the traditional sense. Life is too good, too rich, too important, and too fun when you are contributing your passions to serve others in some way. I am, however, a big fan of setting yourself up as she has done, to have a nice passive income stream that isn’t dependent on any one person or place or thing. I am exceedingly proud of her and I celebrate her accomplishment and freedom. She earned it. She created this life through her thoughts and deliberate actions. She loved herself enough to invest in herself. Let’s look at that again. She loved and trusted and knew herself well enough that she would take the odds on her actions being successful. She picked herself over the government, some money manager or any other investment she could have selected. She bet on herself because she knew she couldn’t lose. She would win or gain valuable experience or both. Her investment in herself continues to pay off every day now.

How about you? Are you ready to get to know, love and trust yourself enough to bet on you, to invest in you? I am betting you are or soon will be. That is why you are here.