Last year, I was visiting an art gallery with my husband and we were fortunate to speak with the owner for some time. He is quite successful in his niche and he, along with some other like minds, has put his community on the map for art. He said something so profound as we talked. It resonated with me very much, especially at the time. I had just finished my Certified ScrumMaster training. (Scrum/agile/lean processes interest me not only in the workplace but how they can be so easily and effectively applied to living a great life.)

Simplify and magnify. That was it. I don’t know if he got that from somewhere/someone else but he was the first person I heard say it that way. He was referencing how he ran his gallery business and how he was applying a very left brain process to a normally right brain industry. I loved it!

Simplify and magnify. How much of what we do every day is excess? How much is fluff, fire, folly? How much is drama, even in the workplace? What things on our to-do are simple – important but not urgent? If it ain’t simple, it ain’t getting done. Yes, we are all wonderful, bright, intelligent people, but complex issues must be broken down in order to be effectively addressed. Simplify the complex and then magnify your efforts on those simple doable bits. Do the important over the urgent every time. Else the urgent will overtake the important and then what do you have?

I am not saying not to see the big picture. On the contrary. The big picture must be held in mind at all times with everything else being measured against it. At the end of the day it comes down to 1) assessing and listing what is in alignment with our big picture and removing all that is actually disguised procrastination – distractions that make us look and feel busy and important 2) taking that list and 3) working it with supreme focus until it is done or no longer necessary.

Taking on the panic and priorities of others does not help us. Nor does it help them. We are not the only ones who can solve this if it is not ours to solve. We are not the only ones who can create and make our way. Give others the chance to step up. They will when they must.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB5ceAruYrI

I am going to admit it in public. I am coming out. I am letting go. I’m not holding back anymore. Here, today, I am slightly nervous and excited to tell you that I am a great big kid. The real me loves all sorts of “childish” things. Like Disney. Not all Disney but the lion’s share of it. Puns intended.

I have gone on at least one, usually several, Disney vacations every year since my husband took me, somewhat kicking and screaming, to Disneyworld for the first time years ago. I didn’t see the appeal, quite frankly. I didn’t understand why grown adults would plan their whole vacations around a cartoon or theme park. It seemed so weird.

Until I got there. Everything was spotless. Lush, green, beautiful. Our room was immaculate and looked brand new despite being used every night, most likely, for years. By families with lots of exploring little hands. The parks were clean and perfect, too. Such care was taken in every aspect of the experience that it was just tremendously powerful. I was literally transported into another world.

Here we were in this other world, with thousands of other people. Unique and eclectic people. All sorts of people from different walks of life. Not every walk, of course, but a large number of disparate geographic, social, economic, educational, vocational and so many other backgrounds. And they were all there with permission to act like kids whether they had children with them or not! I was hooked. I love to watch the people and the scenery and how the first timers express their reactions to the experiences. It is truly wonderful.

So there you go. I used to sheepishly tell people or deflect the question when I was asked where I was going for vacation. No more. I love it and it is a part of me. You are free to have your opinion, of course. But don’t knock it until you have tried it – like the Davises. It is a luxury, fun-filled, most relaxing, immersive experience.

Stay tuned, for coming soon, you will be invited to take part.

Adversity holds the seed of greatness. That is what they say anyway. In the moment, adversity seems only to hold the seed of pain and frustration.

When I face a frustrating situation, I stop to examine it thoroughly. Then I look and see how many times I have been given this same opportunity to learn this. And yet didn’t and therefore I am getting the lesson again. This is one of those times.

It is tax time, two days until taxes are due or in our case, our extension filing is due. Every year it has been the same. Oh this is crazy, we have to get on top of this. We have got to get organized and plan better and be willing to look at this throughout the year. And then sometime in early April, we actually start for the prior year.

My husband has been a soloprenuer for as long as I have known him. In that time, he has worn every hat. I have helped here and there but he really, until maybe last year, did everything on his own. Accounting is his least favorite activity. Last year, we decided that it would be better for me to take on the bookkeeping. He even got me Quickbooks for my Mac. I put it in my Simpleology account to do one day (Simpleology.com – greatness, check it out.)

That was where it ended. I never scheduled time for him to show me. I didn’t play with it on my own. Then he went on his annual artists’ retreat. Then it was the holidays. Then it was too late for last year and now it is April 13. I didn’t do it and there is nothing I can do about the past except for forgive myself and learn from it.

Here I am again getting this lesson again. It is one I have obviously been resisting quite heavily. However, I get it now. I do. I know that getting and staying on top of this for both of our businesses can only help us grow, focus and improve. If you do not know where you are at any given time, you cannot know how to get to your next destination. Think of going to Google maps, and not putting in or allowing your location and requesting directions. No worky. So now I am declaring that I finally know that this is required going forward. However, saying I know it now and really knowing it as evidenced by consistent action over time are two different things entirely. I am committing to really knowing it.

What lesson can you commit to really knowing today?

I quit drinking over a year ago. My beloved husband told me that 500 days was how long it took to break a habit. Especially a bad habit. I guess he read it somewhere. I don’t know. But it stuck with me. So months after he mentioned it in a totally unrelated conversation, I decided to quit drinking for at least that long. I set a date a couple weeks out and told only one person at that time, my lifelong BFF. She had quit 6 ½ years prior. I have seen her blossom.

What was hard for me was not really the not drinking. Don’t get me wrong, I liked drinking. I was really good at it. But the harder part was the telling everyone. I know that sounds odd but I was in a different place then. I was quite concerned with how those closest to me would react to my non drinking because it is a very social thing and had been a part of so many of our traditions and activities. I also had believed that it was necessary in business. Everyone around me for so many years drank as a part of business events and culture. So I thought that I, too, had better do so. It was normal. It was accepted and the way it is done. At least that is how I saw it then. I expected a sort of anti-intervention, which I had gotten before when I toyed with not drinking a few other times in my life.

My husband was totally supportive. He was surprised because he didn’t really understand why I had decided to do so. Well, it was just for me. I found that it was stealing my life and my creativity and my energy and my drive. It made me feel less than excellent and that became unacceptable. It was a habit that I could no longer afford to keep around because it was costing too much. Feeling really great and being awake and alert and productive is too desirable to let having a few drinks, or anything else keep me from it. So I quit.

Now, I relish how great I feel practically every single day. Do I think I will never drink again? No, I think I probably will have some Champagne again at some point. Just like I still eat the highest quality and most perfect bread on special occasion. When I do, I savor every morsel. It just won’t ever be a regular part of my life again the way it was. I love feeling fantastic way too much to trade it for anything else.

I have nothing against drinking. I like to see people enjoying themselves in whatever way they choose. I celebrate all of the good things in life. I do, however, encourage you to look at anything, any habit in particular, that no longer suits you and consider letting it go. The results are amazing.

It’s finally here! Spring has arrived! It’s opening day for the home team. Or as some in my family like to call it, a religious holiday. It is a day where thousands take off work and take in the great game on an early spring day. You never know what you will get. It could be rainy, cold, windy, warm, hot, humid, or sunny and beautiful as is forecasted for today. Anyway you slice it, it is a beautiful fresh clean start. The season is full of promise.

I like baseball. However, I do not pretend to be a huge fan. More of a friend of fans as I once infamously said. The game is intriguing and is an excellent metaphor for life. It is an individual’s game played as a team. Each player has his own stats, his own best to beat. Each has his own role and brings his own strengths and challenges. He is also part of a bigger picture, that of the team, and that sometimes has to take precedence.

For me, it is most fun to watch when there is a cohesive team of talented individuals each interacting and having fun. My favorite part is to watch the players relating to one another, encouraging, challenging, supporting and even playfully ribbing or mocking each other. The greatest teams help each individual excel – there are no prima donnas – but everyone is confident and competent, always pushing their personal best. Sometimes, the off field energy and influence is as important as the on field. When a team gels, wonderful things happen.

Today is opening day. Who is on your team?

I love people. We are so awesome. So unique. So flawed. So perfect in our imperfection. We all walk around oblivious to the things in ourselves that others can see so clearly. That includes the excellent, brilliant and wonderful things. It also includes those things we would rather ignore.

The irony is that most of the things that bother us in others are things we have disowned in ourselves. What does that mean? Well, it means things that we do not like in ourselves and really try to suppress or avoid. We say I hate that characteristic in so and so. He’s so…insert attribute here.

For example, we know we shouldn’t judge people. The Bible says it. It feels very wrong when we catch ourselves doing it. Society says it is bad to judge. There are even laws to protect against it for certain groups.

So we label judging as bad. And we label those who we think are judging as wrong. We see evidence of this judging in them at every turn. And we seek to fix them. Then we seek to avoid them. Of course, we just judged them.

The issue here is that when we disown these things and label them as “bad” then they get pushed down. Or driven underground. Where they become more powerful and ugly, now completely out of our awareness.

This message might rub you the wrong way. It can be scary at first to see this in ourselves and we may want to reject it. If, however, you can brave a look, and love and accept yourself anyway, then you will find those things you have hidden away actually disappearing.

I have been exercising formally or informally for most of my life. I have taken a few years off here and there but for the most part I have done some form of workout. When I first met my husband, hanging out with him took precedence over the gym, and pretty much everything else for a time. Ultimately, I realized that a non-working out me isn’t really me at all.

Right now and for the last year almost, I have been doing a tabata workout at home each morning. It has been great for me to have a routine, get the body moving and awake without having to go anywhere or take the time for the commute, etc. I am grateful for this period and I have maintained a certain level of fitness but I have not markedly increased my fitness overall. I am okay with that for that period.

Now it is again time to go to the next level. I have never been more fit in my life than when I had a personal trainer. I loved working with him and I got results that I would not have gotten on my own. I would like to think I would have. I would like to think that I am self-motivated and educated on what needs to be done. I am. However, the reality of implementation is something completely different.

You see, my trainer knows what my body is capable of doing even more than I do because he doesn’t have the same limiting beliefs. He knows what remarkable and resilient bodies we have each been given. They adapt and improve at amazing rates if properly trained. Properly is the key word here.   Improper form or the wrong routine at the wrong time and you will get injured or not make the gains that are possible. Most of us, even if we know exactly what to do, will not be able to consistently push ourselves, in that perfect goldilocks formula, the way that we can with a professional coach leading, guiding and encouraging us.

Which is why I am also taking the next step with my business. I have hired a new coach. As a coach myself, I realize the importance of getting help from professionals who have been there and can help me to improve beyond what I can do on my own. I have had a business coach all along, but I am adding another layer, the next level in order to quantum leap my reach. I know that I am worth it. My business is worth it. My clients are worth it. And it is time.

If you see that it is also time for you, say yes to yourself here.

As toddlers we learned by asking why.  Anyone with a small child knows that this can be an interesting time.  There are many, many questions that are asked that we do not know the answer to.  There are even some that perhaps have no answer.  Still others, we haven’t ever given any thought to before.  By the time we are 7 or 8, the number of why questions we ask has diminished dramatically.  I am here to ask. Why?

Why did we stop asking?  Why did we stop seeking to understand, probe, look deeper under the hood, under the surface?  Why?  I ask you now.  Was it because the answers “should” have been obvious?  Was it because we were told “because” one too many times?  Was it because it seemed right to simply go along, rather than questioning what we didn’t understand?  Was it because we went to school and we were taught to form a straight line, sit in our chairs, stop talking, stop asking so many questions and simply learn (accept) what we are telling you?  Did we want that gold star, that citizenship award or the all-important good grade so much that we would do anything to get it?

Not too long ago, I would sigh heavily and roll my eyes if someone said there are no dumb questions.  I was so heavily entrenched in thinking that there were mostly stupid questions.  Hurry up.  Stop asking questions.  It is so clear, they just told us.  Uh, listen next time.  Oh, people…people!  Don’t prolong this misery by making them repeat what we just covered.  Don’t care – I don’t, beyond what is “on the test.”  Those were my thoughts and sometimes even my words.

Little did I know then that it is all on the test.  And that was mine.

Last night, I had a great conversation with a lovely, wonderful, smart and intuitive woman.  She was relaying a story to me of some frustration she had with a seat mate on her flight earlier in the day.  She was telling me the things that happened that led to the frustration.  I listened.  I heard her.  And then I asked her why the particular thing had bothered her.  At first, it was as if I hadn’t heard her so she repeated it, expecting me to agree that indeed that is irksome behavior on a plane.  I didn’t agree or disagree, I simply asked her why.  She was ready and willing to explore.

That one small question, turning the outward experience inward (where it all happens anyway), helped her to start processing a much larger and more important issue in her life and work in a brand new way.  The insight gained from simply asking why of yourself can open doors that have been locked for far too long.  It may seem scary at first, but it is the path to freedom and you were built to handle it.

Today as usual I am up doing my morning routine of handwriting my journal, working out and then writing for Love Starts with Me before the work day begins.  I must admit that the rainy weather and colder temperatures had me sleep later than I like.  I don’t use an alarm clock so it is what it is.  I get up when I am compelled to do so and some days that is a lot earlier than others.

I turned on my work computer before writing this.  That is not my norm but I am traveling today so I was going to let it boot up so I could transition over more efficiently.  I actually used to wake up and go straight to the work computer with zero transition from sleep mode.  Talk about putting myself in a place of rushing and anxiety.  Guess what my life was like back then?  Give yourself a prize, yes, it was rushing and anxiety!

As it came on, I noticed my alerts going off for things that are still over an hour away.  What?  What time is it?  Every other clock I have says the correct time but my computer, in some update somehow, decided that it is an hour later even though it still says the correct time zone.  Hmmmm.  This one small error sends adrenaline coursing through my body.  I feel it.  I watch it.  I check other clocks.  Odd.  I allow it to pass noting the experience as I stay in peace and chuckle at the old way attempting to take over again.

Which brings me to this whole time and clock thing.  I mentioned that I no longer use the alarm clock.  That one small change has made significant impact on my stress level.  I go to bed early and have a lot of space built into my morning so that any discrepancy like today doesn’t cause issue.  I cannot ever see going back to the jarring, disruptive way of waking again.  Every once in a while I will, when traveling, use my phone as a backup if I have a very early flight.  Even more rare is the occasion where I actually have needed it.

Time is a communication tool.  It is simply a way that we can speak with others and get on the same wavelength.  It no longer controls me as I choose to work differently now.  I have more time now, ironically, than ever before.  Removing all of the time and energy I used to spend stressing over time and deadlines and dread of things to come freed up a tremendous amount of time and energy.  Beautiful how that works.

If you are ready to join me stay tuned here.  To fast track, you can begin here.

 

 

I have spent about an hour and a half this morning looking at options and figuring out how to go to Hawaii. I love Hawaii. It is my second home. I have accumulated a pretty decent cache of airline miles and I am going to Hawaii with them. My husband and I are. So I have spent a good part of the morning just kind of researching options and dates and looking at the pros and cons of each. What the costs will be, what is available on points, what is available period, what the price differences are based on time of year, what if we go here first and here second, and all those sorts of things.

This is work, yes, but it is pleasurable. It gives me satisfaction to work the angles and figure this out. It gives my mind a workout as I think through all of the options and tradeoffs. I have tried literally dozens of combinations. Thankfully, with the Internet, I can do all of this work and fail quickly. Fail? Well, yes. I can see all of the things that will not work so that I can find the one(s) that will. Doing this failing quickly helps get me where I am going. In this case, Hawaii.

I imagine that you also do this in your life. Perhaps not with vacation but with whatever your passion may be. Well, I challenge you, and me, to start applying it to our “real” lives in a concerted and open-minded manner. How about we step out and see how we can fail more quickly in our jobs, in our relationships, in our businesses and other areas? Sound too risky? Or stupid?

It is only risky if you look at it that way. The more secure we are in ourselves, in our abilities and skills, in our inherent worth, and the more faith we have, the more we are able to fail and brush it off, learning the wonderful lessons that only failing can provide. Edison found 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. Do you think he would have found the one that worked had he not been open to failing?

How about Walt Disney? He failed and went bankrupt multiple times. Now we get to enjoy the legacy and magnificence of his creations. If he had been afraid to fail, none of this would have happened. None of it. There would be no Disney movies, no Disneyland, no Mickey Mouse.   There would be no powerhouse entertainment company that represents the highest level of guest experience.

You wouldn’t be talking, writing, walking, married, working or most anything in your life if you had been afraid to fail in getting there. No one is saying to fail on purpose by doing something you “know” to be stupid. But be careful that what you “know” is not just something you believe because you have been told or because you tried it once and it didn’t work. That is a dangerous place to be for it will continue to limit you and keep you in your box.

So we set the destination, we move forward with research, action and due diligence. We course correct as quickly as possible, noting what works and what doesn’t work. We learn the lessons on the way and find out more about ourselves and others along the path. We enjoy the journey because it is only in this learning and doing that we are truly living.