I have lived in the same home for many years. Over those years, I have always had a home office. When we first moved here, I had a milk run type sales job where I would go around and visit a set of accounts and make sure that they were happy and that they would keep buying our services and new offerings over time. It was a great job. I was on the road locally most days and I liked being out and about.

When I started selling software, I spent more time in my home office because most of my prospects were not even in the state, so the travel was usually via air. That has been 10 years next month. In all of that time, I had updated my office on occasion, going from mismatched Office Depot furniture to the whole Executive Style quality wood suite. About four years ago, I totally reorganized and optimized the space I have with the help of my wonderful neighbor, Jennifer, who is a design organizer. Wow, what a difference that made! The energy shifted each time I upgraded my surroundings.

However, late last year, I made what has proven to be the single biggest impact and least expensive enhancement I have made since I moved here. I took the shades off the large window. They had been covered since we moved in, with the old 80’s or 90’s bunched fabric on the upper arch window and a Roman shade on the bottom. I couldn’t see out at all even though I had begun working facing that window.  My view was completely blocked.

I decided to take the shades down and see what happened. Oh glorious day!  I can see nature every single day now. Every day is different. Every sunrise is different. Every day the trees outside my window have a different stage of growth. It is magnificent. I cannot explain or convey the difference in presence, focus, relaxed energy and joy that one change has brought for me. I guess I should have listened sooner when Jenn suggested it originally. Live and learn.

What one tweak can you make to enhance or improve your surroundings today? It will be worth it.  There is a world of possibility out there.

I travel for my work and on the whole I really like that. There are some things that aren’t as glamorous as they appear to be from the outside but overall, it is a great blessing to be able to see new places and meet new people. I love to see how other people live and work and observe the similarities and differences.

I was travelling yesterday, not for work but coming home from seeing my unique, wonderful mother. I bought a new suitcase a couple weeks ago because my wheeled briefcase was no longer acceptable to me. I really like many things about the new one, including the fact that I can bring both computers – my work computer as well as my personal Mac. I know, and I do have an iPad but I prefer the actual Mac for most of my daily pre-work activities including writing for lovestartswithme.com. My Mac is about three years old and is the 15 inch MacBook Pro. It is heavy. So is my work PC. I don’t know how heavy the two of them are together but let’s just say, not as light as one.

So as I am traveling, I carry both, in my new bag, which is too large to fit under the seat in front. That’s okay, I put it in the overhead. Well, this morning my back is speaking to me about the manner in which I did that

It would be so easy to think or say, well Susie, you are getting older and travel is a young man’s game. In fact, my mom mentioned something like that to me regarding my brother’s work. How easy it is to go there and blame nature, aging. Well, I know better.

First off, it was the form I used in placing said suitcase in the overhead. I did everything wrong in arching my back to swing it up there. More importantly, I haven’t worked out with weights in a good while so I have simply lost strength, leading to the poor form. So, I see that is an area that I will attend to. End of story. No blame, no worry, no settling and acceptance of the “inevitable.” Yes, I accept that I am not as strong as I was and where I am and that I created this situation. And yes, I accept that I can choose to do something about it or not. Complain about aging and how it is normal to lose blah blah blah and resign myself to the sofa? I don’t think so. I choose to gain strength in all forms every day until I die. I love myself too much not to do so.

Are you in? Learn more here.

I am here at my mom’s house this morning and I will be flying home later this afternoon. It has been a good visit but different, now that I am different. She is different too, of course, because the change and growth in you does not occur in a vacuum. It can and does have ripple effects for all of those around you. This is a good thing. Ghandi said to be the change and that is what he meant.

Mom has also had changes of her own that now have ripple effects on me. I see that she is in a place that is right for her, despite it not being right for me. I love and respect her and her right and privilege to choose. She is of sound mind and body and she can do as she dang well pleases. And she does.

I admire that about Mom and always (well, okay not always) have. She is a strong woman, having raised six kids with my dad. They were a good team and complemented each other well. Mom created for herself the life she desired. She saw something she liked and she set out and got it. I don’t just mean material things, although, there were plenty of them in our home. I mean education, lifestyle, travel, workstyle, and so many things that were truly not the norm for her generation. She was/is a pioneer and I inherit and embrace all that good which she has bequeathed to me.

Now I celebrate and honor my mom and the life she has created for herself and enjoys. She tells me that she is happy where she is. That makes me happy, too.

We spend most of our waking hours working at our chosen profession. It is the single biggest environmental factor in each of our lives, outside of our homes. By environmental factor, I don’t only mean the office or place where we do the bulk of our work, but all of the things that the job entails. The commute, if you have one, the culture, the work style and expectations, the emotional and mental energy and frequency of the work itself plus that of all the aforementioned and a host of other individual characteristics and influences all make up this environment.

What does yours look like? How does it support you or detract?   Is it how you would prefer? Do you feel like it builds and grows you or holds you back or even oppresses you? Most importantly, can you be you?

Every organization and profession has its own set of written and unwritten rules. I have best heard this described as a pendulum. This pendulum is excellent as you catch on, conform and begin the rapid rise to the top while adopting and adapting to the norms of expectation. It can be a heady experience as you get the high of it all. But as any pendulum does, it eventually swings back down and can even knock you off and reject you if you question or do not continue to conform to the way of the pendulum. The pendulum only intends to survive so it does and it gains power and momentum as more people feed it.

The pendulum itself isn’t bad. It isn’t out to get you. It simply is. There are pendulums we would consider “good” as people jump onto the ideas and causes we support. In the end, the only way to survive the pendulum is not only to get off of it, which is great until it swings back and smacks you in the head but to also step to the side as you watch it swing by observing it from your place of perspective and solid footing.   With your awareness comes even more power and control than any blind adherence could bring. Now, you choose where you get on and get off. You have to maintain awareness, however, or you will find the power of the pendulum has sucked you in again.

What does all this mean for you? It means it is time to think. We are not used to doing this, for the pendulum doesn’t promote or allow this type of thinking at all.

 

 

Right now, at my current “job” I have the best boss I have ever had. My husband even said recently, “Your boss is cool.”  After giving it some thought, I have come up with the core reasons. He respects me as a person, as a professional and as an individual and team member. He takes time to know the person behind the work. He does not blame anyone for anything but looks for solutions and ways to improve. He does not get held up by the past or anyone’s history or mistakes but instead sees the good and coaxes it out more and more. I think in total, he is the best boss because he is human. We talk like friends and there is transparency. There’s no politics and no fear. I trust him and feel like I can tell him anything and vice versa, even news we really wouldn’t prefer to hear. He has created an atmosphere of safety in a historically unstable industry.  And he is sillier than a barrel of kittens. (I was gonna say monkeys but that is far too expected to adequately describe the level of magnificence in silliness.)

I give him full credit for who he is and how he manages his team and the rest of the organization, formally and informally. I also give myself full credit for having created this situation for myself. He would laugh to hear me say that last part (especially) but I know what I desired. I saw it, gave gratitude for all aspects of it, accepted that I could have it and now it is what I have. In that way, I created and allowed it into my life. As long as I am continuing to work for “the man” it might as well be a situation as I have described.

Do you have the work situation that you desire? Why not, do you suppose? Could it be that you have allowed it to be so?

Perhaps it is time to dig deeper here.

 

 

 

I woke up to a blanket of snow today. It is absolutely gorgeous! The sun has now come up and it is reflecting off the snow in a magnificent way. It looks so clean and bright. It is so pristine, untouched and inviting.

It is easy to live in the moment when our normal days are interrupted like that, in my case with snow that we do not normally see.   That change of pattern helps bring us into the present and pay attention to now. Well, I guess I should say that it can. In the past, it wouldn’t really have mattered to me for the most part because I was so far into my own head and my thinking of all I had to do that little or nothing would snap me into presence.

This morning, as I was taking a few minutes to look at the snow with my husband, a potential client called me. It was just after 7 AM. Thankfully, I was not near my phone so it didn’t in any way disturb our moment and I only saw it afterward. Now, I am not complaining that he called me that early, for he must have felt it was fine to do so and so I accept that. We will resolve the matter of his inquiry, without question. I will help him, absolutely. However, I no longer choose to blindly jump onto others’ schedules. There is exactly nothing in my career that is an emergency. I have designed it that way.

It also makes me curious when I see all of the motorists on the ice-covered roads risking life, limb and property to get to their offices. Hmmmm. The weather will be clearing today. The sun is out and it will melt. Everyone has the right and privilege to make his own decisions. I am just curious if they are doing it consciously or not. What is it that they look to find in that office this morning that couldn’t wait? Whose idea and agenda is it that they follow? For so long, I wasn’t consciously making decisions. Now I am and I can tell you that it is exponentially better this way.

 

 

I am back in my home office and it is good to be home and back in my routine. I am still a little off on time due to the transition back from Pacific Time, but it is all good for I am still able to do my day’s most important work before my job starts.

I do consider my self work (the work I do on and for myself which really isn’t work but a joyful investment) and my communications with you to be my most important must-dos each day. I really don’t consider any of it work because it is more like play. I get to write whatever I like on my Morning Pages (Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way) and then I get to do a quick and fun workout with my tabata timer. It feels great to knock that out and get the blood pumping and muscles firing. Then I sit down to talk to you.

My intention in my talks is just a quick thought to leave you with for the day. I pray it reaches you exactly when you need it. I care about you and I see good things for you today and every day. I am here to tell you and show you that there is a better way than going to a job you hate or just suffer through every day. You have a choice. You can start today, in this moment, by making a choice to no longer live in dread, fear or even staleness. You are in the driver’s seat. This is your life and no one can oppress you without your permission. Read that again and consider making the choice to change today.

If you would like assistance I am here for you. You can start here.

This weekend, I was sitting next to a dad with two small boys.  One was probably two or less and was very cranky because he wanted another donut hole and it was naptime. Dad was firmly saying no you have already had 5 or something.  The boy was in his lap and squirming like crazy as Dad was holding him back and managing the situation as best he could.  On his right and my left was the other older boy who started to hand his backpack to the dad.  Dad clearly did not need anything else on his plate and told the other boy Eric, no put it there beside you.  Well, Eric didn’t like that answer, didn’t want to be ignored or put off and Dad in his frustration said, Eric, you have got to help me here.  Please!

A few more moments of this exchange went by.   I observed.  I considered not saying anything but after a while I said to Eric, you are such a big help to your dad.  How old are you?  Dad said he is 4 but his birthday is next week.  To which I replied, oh no wonder you are a big help, you are a wonderful big brother!  When I started talking to Eric I could see his wheels turning.  He was processing what I was saying and before you know it, he was proud big brother helper!  He placed the backpack in its place and then proceeded to help Dad with the giant stroller.  I commended him for how strong he was and how awesome he was that Dad could really count on him.  He was beaming, walking tall and most helpful to his grateful dad.

That kid was 4 going on 5.  We are all that kid. Our customers, clients, coworkers are all that kid. See them at their best and watch them make you right, right before your very eyes. Sometimes in adults it takes more than one encounter, of course, but it will happen.

 

Another beautiful day in my life. Nothing went as I planned, really, over the last couple of days. Weather. Delays. New info that parts of me would rather not know. However, I know, despite all of this, that it is exactly what I needed. I know that there is a great reason for all of this and that I will most likely see what that is/was at some point. For now, I am just happy to know that it is and I am grateful for it. So much better than complaining or trying to change things that cannot be changed (the past) or controlled (the weather and what others do or don’t do). Simple. Profound. Life-changing way to view the world. I am fine and I know I will continue to be fine because I am enough.

I took a sabbatical yesterday.   I took a day to regroup and clear my mind. I took a lovingME day just to be with myself and do nothing.   By doing nothing, I do not mean curl up in a little ball in bed do nothing, although if that is what was required I am in no way judging that. I just now realize that it is okay to simply step off and I do not have any need to be ill in any way now to do this proactively.

I took the day to slow down even further and to reflect, check in with myself and enjoy nature. I realize that the traditional definition in the academic world is a sabbatical lasting months or even years. I took a day. It was perfect.

We tend to work hard and play hard. We tend to have so much on our minds and so many problems we are solving and things we are doing that we get lost in the process. We lose a little of ourselves each day because as we go full blast at success, we can forget ourselves. We forget who we are and why we are doing this.

I absolutely love my job. I am very blessed to work for an organization that aligns with my values where I am treated with love and respect and vice versa. It was my choice to have this and so I do. But I still take time to go inside and be still enough to listen to what my body, mind and spirit are telling me. About everything, not just work. I return to work on Monday, clearer, fuller, whole and more focused than before. Priceless.