Yesterday I talked about a particularly buffoon moment I had when I was trying to please and more specifically, not disappoint, those in authority at my job. I can laugh about it now and actually was laughing immediately after because A) it was already done and you cannot go back and B) it was very laughable and C) it was completely uncharacteristic of me.

I was in a client meeting where I hadn’t done my homework sufficiently. I had brought in my team to assist me on my agenda. Then, I had somewhat of a meltdown where I actually stopped the meeting and less eloquently than I would have preferred, said “I am freaking out!” How is that for high end Executive Coach material? I am glad I stopped the meeting for it was the right thing to do. The manner that it came out has already taught me more than if I had done it well.

I had taken some other people’s word for things, which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t dig deeper to really uncover the meaning behind their words, the actual thinking and situation behind their words. I did this basically because I really wanted to believe their words, for their surface words were exactly what I had desired and it was a lot easier not to dig. So the meeting was going completely off the rails of what my understanding and expectation had been and thus the freaking out comment to end said meeting. It indeed worked.

I know that digging is what I do. It is who I am and one of my greatest skills. To dig, in myself, question even my own motives and unconscious behaviors and then to do so in others so that we all grow and move toward more positive outcomes for all is my life’s work.   I had gotten away from it for some reason. “Happy ears” we call it in sales when we hear only what we want to hear. So what a great gift of learning the whole experience has been for me. My intention in sharing is that it will be for you as well.

Today was an interesting day. I learned a very valuable lesson in the understanding of Susie and my own old programming. I have had such an overwhelming desire to please authority that sometimes it bites me in the behind.

The interesting thing is that in many areas and in many ways I have released that. And/or happily go against the grain or simply have no idea or care what the grain is.  But at work, there are a couple of people or perhaps just positions where I realize today that I am the kid in the swimming pool saying, “Dad, Dad, watch this! Oh wait, no I can do it better than that. Hey Dad, watch. Hey Dad, approve of me and be proud of me, please!” The trouble is, now I have put this pressure on myself and made such lofty assumptions of what you expect that it has become much less probable that I will be able to do my best now that I asked you to watch.

The funniest part of all? NONE of that was at all conscious but now, because of a particularly interesting and less than attractive buffoon moment, now I do realize it and can walk in awareness and stop.

Now that is a great day – learning from my mistakes!

It is actually snowing here today. Lovely white flakes billowing down. For my friends in the Northeast, please take no offense to my mention of what you have told me is now a nemesis for you. It is much easier to see things with wonder and awe when they are rare and fleeting. But it is no less powerful and life changing to see everything, new and old, with that same sense of presence and appreciation.

I just made my former-self puke. Perhaps you, too. What I can say with zero reservation is that, for me, this current way is 1000 percent better. Before, I was so busy being busy that I missed it all. I missed the small things and many of the big ones. I traded busy-ness for a real life. I needed to be busy in my job and workouts and whatever else I could squeeze in before I earned some wine and chips at the end of the day. Of course I continued my busy-ness during wine and chip time, too. I needed that because I didn’t know how to just be me. To be still and present with my own bad self (like James Brown baaaad self not like bad bad self.) I couldn’t see then what a joy it is to just be me. Of course, I had no clue that is what I was doing because I was unconscious and everyone I knew did exactly the same things. Not that there is anything wrong with that as Seinfeld would say, and I truly mean. If that is what I choose, you choose, anyone chooses, consciously, then excellent!   Lots of good and good times in that!

I am simply shining a light so you can assess if you are conscious in your choices and your moments. I wasn’t for a very long time and I can say unequivocally that being conscious and aware rocks! I like more and more of it every day.

Do you love your job? Does it love you, too? These two almost always go together. Very few people love their job if they are not also loved and appreciated. Very few people who truly love their jobs are not loved and appreciated at their workplace.

Why is that? Because when you love your job it shows. Work is no longer the effort it is if you don’t. You begin to look at all of the good rather than all of the bad. As you focus on the good, it grows. As you focus on the bad, it grows, too.

You may say, but Susie, you have no idea how horrible my job is, how bad it is here, how they treat me and take advantage of me. Yes, that is true. I do not. But what I do know, not to sound insensitive, is that you created it, albeit unconsciously. You chose to be there and you have chosen to stay. You have chosen to create more bad by seeking it out with your focus. I do not say this in judgment. I know it to be true because I have lived it. More than once, but no longer for now I choose to be conscious and make conscious choices.

I won’t go into quantum physics right now but if you look for and expect it, you will find it. You will find more and more of it. I choose to have a fantastic job and I do.

 

 

 

Woke up today with the world blanketed in icy snow mix. Living in the South, it happens, but not so often. We are having a thunder-snow storm this morning, with freezing rain as well. Our community will be shut down today and I am grateful. I work from home so it is business as usual for me but I am glad the kids and parents and office workers will all get a break from going in. I pray that they really savor the time and new experience today.

We can get so ingrained in our routine pattern and daily habits that our lives are on autopilot. This is the way our brain is designed so I accept that and work with it. It is a beautiful design. In fact, I live and teach developing good habits that will catapult success. They can really be our friends. But nothing beats presence.  (Except the habit of presence LOL.) Really being alive and well in the moment. Knowing that just being is enough. Just breathing. Giving thanks and relaxing in the now. The stillness. The magnificence of this moment.

A day like today is the perfect opportunity for this with the pattern interrupt of the snow. Or the sun. Or the traffic as you watch it. Whatever you choose to use to change your focus to being in the present, wherever you are now, even if that is at work. Not what you have to do later today, in five minutes, with the rest of your life, with the mistakes you made in the past or anything or anyplace else. But just be present in the now and enjoy this snowy, blustery day as if it is all there is and it is perfect. Because it is.

It is Saturday morning and I am up and happy as a clam to be so. (Sidebar, where did we get that – happy as a clam? That is some smart clam.) I have written already today. Spent time playing with the cat. Did the dishes and now I am writing for you. Most people are still in bed. I certainly would be if it were even two years ago.

But not anymore. Now I am up every day, weekends included, with energy and vigor to spare. I simply love my life.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I also love my sleep and I get plenty of it, which allows me to love my life and have energy. I also get good, uninterrupted sleep, which we will discuss another day. Today I am talking about passion.

I made a decision to love my life and myself. It didn’t happen over night by any means but once I did, things started falling into place. They just get better every day. You can make the decision, too. You may not even think you need to. You may think your life is okay and that you don’t need any Pollyanna BS. Or you may be in a place of numbness and you think this is all there is. Well I am here to show, you, guide you, assure you, that it is not. You, too, can wake up with passion and energy and vigor. You, too, can love your life. It starts with a simple decision.

There are some who would say that the best way to learn how to love is simply to love others. While I do not disagree with that completely, I believe that for most of us, we already love others as best we know how. We don’t, however, love ourselves with the same intensity or latitude that we do others, at least in the beginning of a new relationship.

In the beginning, we love blindly, madly and without judgment. We overlook every flaw, mistake and zit. We love them despite and sometimes even because of their imperfections. And then the butterflies wear off. And we start seeing the zits.  Look, they are multiplying?  Is that pus?  Oh, how they look more and more disgusting as we focus on them. We see the things that were there all along but now, we can only focus on the bad stuff.

Why do we do that? It happens in relationships of all types but none so profoundly as our intimate ones. Our spouse, partner and many times even our job.

I have found that the root of all of that discomfort or lack isn’t where we think it is, outside of us in some other person or place or entity. No, it stems from inside. Thus, love starts with me. Because it is always an inside job.

Silliness is next to godliness. Okay now don’t try to go and look that up because I just made it up. It is, in my opinion, true. I read somewhere that kids laugh about 300 times a day. Adults? We average about 5.

I think that a little more silliness in everyone would improve the world dramatically. When you love yourself, it is easy to laugh at your foibles. And words like foible. Without harming your precious adult ego who thinks it has to be perfect and serious all the time. I am not talking about putting yourself down for a laugh, nope. I am talking about laughing at the human condition and the things our egos have us do. To take a step outside ourselves and realize that we are awesome, spiritually perfect (perfected in Him) beings who do stupid things sometimes based on old, flawed programming.

And then there is systematic purposeful silliness. I am blessed with a boss who brings this into our work life by the wheelbarrow (another great silly word!). He has taught me/reminded me to embrace the silly and life is so much better for it.

Give it a go today, allow some in.  See what happens.

 

photo courtesy of Profiles in History

Another gorgeous day in paradise! I am awake and alive and the sun is shining so beautifully outside of my office window. I am well into my day and now ready for my “work” day. I have written, worked out, planned my day and now I am writing again for you.

Do you wake up like this? Do you have a passion and a vision of what your day will bring? Are you planting seeds every day toward your dreams and desires whilst savoring the heck out of the process and your amazing life right now? No? Why not?

I can certainly relate if you don’t. It wasn’t always like this for me, either. I found myself realizing I was built for more. Then after hitting a pretty good hard bottom, I woke up and realized I had the ruby slippers all the time. You have them, too, but you have been looking for them to fall from the sky or appear on your feet. No, you already have them and they are worn between your ears.

 

It is not natural the way that most of us live our lives today. To be in such a continuous state of stress, fear and overwhelm. Our bodies weren’t designed for it, nor were our minds. The Bible says that we were not given a spirit of fear but a sound mind and self-control. I am paraphrasing as I do, but you get the concept that they were discussing thousands of years ago.

So, if this way that we live, that society shows us is normal isn’t normal at all, then what is? How do we get back to it? You first must realize that it isn’t normal or desirable but that it is, in fact, the way you have been living and you accept that. Then you can consciously make a choice not to do it anymore. Easy, right? All righty, then, I am glad we had this little talk.

I help my clients to realize that it is easy if you allow it to be, have and learn to use the proper tools and I help to guide them in stepping off the crazy train. For good.