So you know that things have to change. Your life cannot stay the way it is or has been for well, too long. You have been unsettled for some time and enough is enough. You have tried and yet you are still searching for answers. I have been there. I searched for YEARS. If I am not alert, I can find myself there again, temporarily.

I am going to tell you what I really wish someone had told me in words I could actually hear and digest. My parents couldn’t tell me. My friends either. My schools couldn’t. My jobs? No way. Even my religion and church couldn’t really show me, although I think at least some of them knew. The bold, unapologetic, unwaivering, un – PC, truth.

It is not about your job.

It is not about your husband.

It is not about being overworked or overwhelmed.

It is not about the kids.

It is not about the government or politicians.

It is not about your weight or how your body looks.

It is not about being perfect or even being number one in the competitive game.

It is not about not having enough time, not having enough money, not having enough energy or even not having enough focus.

All of those things are symptoms, scapegoats and excuses. And they will heal, improve, resolve or fall from importance once you get to the core truth.

You could change every single thing on this list. Perhaps you have or have tried. You could jump from thing to thing to thing in hopes that this one is finally THE thing. You could do all of that. And you would end up right back here.

Because it is not about those things. It is about you. You, my gorgeous, unique, amazing friend! YOU! You and how you see yourself. You and how you treat yourself. You and how you think and act based on your mindset and worldview.

Unless you get real. Unless you get quiet. Unless you slow yourself enough to really hear the still small voice inside. Unless you get to know and love you, the real you – all of you – you will keep searching.

Unless you start living the life you were created and designed to live, the life you can feel inside of you, the power and purpose you can feel inside of you, the abundance, prosperity and joy that goes along with living that purpose. You cannot live that life if you do not yet know what it is, what it looks like, or what it feels like.

Unless and until then, you will have to keep looking.

A wise mentor of mine said that I could leave my job but remember that I take myself with me. I didn’t quite get it at the time but I now see so much more clearly what he meant. I left that job and took myself with me. I left others, too, and took myself with me. I left my husband and I took myself with me.

You cannot outrun yourself. You cannot outrun your spirit. You cannot outrun your calling. You cannot live fully unless and until you accept the love that is there for you, accept and receive the abundance that is there for you and recreate the mindset that knows that this is normal and true for each of us.

Recreate? Yes. We were all born with a creative, limitless mindset. A mindset that allowed for any possibility. Life has slowly beaten it out of us. Our well-meaning, fearful parents using their own faulty programs, our siblings who taught us competition, our friends imposing their biases and views in a steady pressure to conform or be cast out, the education system with all of its rules and regulations, religious dogma, corporate brainwashing. It started early and continues to this day. With you unaware for the most part. Until now.

So the question now is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to zone back out and continue to live on autopilot? Are you going to shake it off and chalk it up to a bad day? Are you going to further push down and suffocate your higher self who is calling out to you to PLEASE listen and honor yourself fully?

Or are you going to make a decision? A decision that today, now, this moment you are going to be you. You in all your glory. In all of your beauty and magnificence. You in all of your quirkiness, silliness and yes, even ugliness. That you will now honor and integrate all parts of you and stop trying to disown anything that you or someone else has judged as unworthy.

Are you ready to really step into the full power that is you? Are you finally done hiding, coasting, blending in?

God did not create each of us uniquely and wonderfully for us to refuse to live in that uniqueness and wonder. He did not create you with the specific skills, talents, affinities, desires, likes, dislikes, passions and experiences you have for you to become one of the faceless masses, moving through life unconscious, settling for but a pittance of what is possible.

We have become a nation of politically correct, bland, homogenized mush. We had good intention to make the world a better place for certain groups but the result is an ever increasing dumbing down of everything. It is like we threw everyone into a blender and hit pulse until we are emulsified. NO!

NO MORE! You have a role to play. You have a voice to use. You have a song to sing and a dance to do. You have something that no one else has. You have YOU! You have YOUR light. It is magnificent, important, powerful, required.

Required.

Your not showing up is not an option for an optimal world.

Years ago when I was particularly stressed at work, I would sleepwalk and have nightmares. This was when I was working in a job I mostly liked but I knew was just a job. I had a lot on my plate. I had a lot to get done. I had much pressure, most of it self-imposed, as it always is.

Back then, in my recurring sleepwalking nightmare, I would find myself out of bed having some big pressure on me. I had to pull this lever and no one else in the WORLD could pull it. I would wake up then and think wow, I gotta get a new job or take a vacation or both. I have the weight of the world on me. This is ridiculous.

I knew something had to change. I knew something was askew. As many of you know I tried many, many things to make it right, better. New role, new company, new workout, more wine. I even went far long the path to new life as a single woman, thinking my marriage was the problem. All in an attempt to “fix” that nagging feeling emanating from my core.

I didn’t understand that recurring dream fully until relatively recently. The dream has not since recurred as a nightmare. The dream has returned, not with heaviness or dread that I am potentially letting someone or everyone down. It has returned with a lightness, a calmness, an inspiration, a KNOWING, a lighted path and firm and powerful recognition that yes, indeed, I do have a lever that I must pull. No one else in this world can pull it for me.

However, now, it is no pressure. It is no weight. It is no nightmare. It is my path. And I embrace it. I am living it more every single day.

You, as fate would have it, are a part of it. Helping women, helping you, is my path and my calling and my words are my lever, my coaching is my life’s true vocation. This I do with joy and intention that it may bless you and all you touch.

So…are you just going to close this and move to something else? Or are you going to finally start listening to your spirit? Two paths are set before you. It is your choice. I pray you choose to honor your spirit, whether it is here, now, or elsewhere.

If you are ready to look inside and find out what is behind that unsettled feeling you have, that nagging void that you have attempted to fill, squash or ignore, then I can help.

For the woman who is ready to take full personal responsibility and finally step into the authority she has over her own life by going inside and finding her true voice, I can help you.

As a sales and business executive with decades of corporate experience, intuitive skills and ability to really hear you and see you – the REAL you, personal relationship expertise acquired by fire, Health Coach Certification, habit and productivity experience, ScrumMaster Certification, energy (quantum, feng shui, qi gong) studies, prayer and fasting, meditation, Disney therapy expertise and most importantly SUCCESS MINDSET rewiring knowhow, I am well-equipped to serve as a tour guide for you on your journey.

I am opening up several slots for a personal Clarity Call with me, compliments of Love Starts with Me.

• These are ONLY available for those who are ready to join us in the peaceful yet powerful revolution that is Love Starts with Me.
• They are available ONLY for those who are ready to look inside and shed the old that no longer serves.
• The call is ONLY for those who know that things cannot stay like this, and are ready to get clear then take action.
• They are available ONLY for those who are open to receive new clarity and actionable next steps.

Begin to live the LovingME lifestyle and see your world open up to all new possibility. Say yes here.

This is NOT for everyone. The majority of folks are not ready to hear…yet, and that is fine. If you are new to the community and find that what we are doing here resonates with you and you aren’t quite ready to talk live, please sign up for the week-daily Good to Me Guide at www.lovestartswithme.com, also with our compliments.  Here you can ease into the concepts and check out the past issues under Blog.

Please like us and leave your feedback at www.facebook.com/susiefranscinidavislovestartswithme.

Sometimes as a coach your own coaching comes and hits you in the face. In a good way. 😉

My message is about loving, respecting and embracing your true, highest self. Without question, without exception and without apology. To really love yourself means that you treat yourself with dignity and you take time to listen and follow your gut. You speak and live your truth. You do not need to hold back or hide because you are comfortable in your own skin and confident in who you are and what you represent.

While you know you aren’t perfect, you also know and accept that you are loved and forgiven and cherished by the Creator exactly as you are. Right now.

I have to admit that I have been censoring myself. I am busted. I haven’t been as bold or transparent as I could be. Perhaps out of fear that not everyone will like or be ready to accept what I have to say.

And that is okay. Not everyone has to or even should.

My message is mine and it’s for me and for those with whom it resonates. That will not be everyone and I am ready to walk boldly now into that unchartered territory. I embrace and encourage you to do the same, even if you are diametrically opposed to my views.

When we don’t ask we really have no reason to complain if we are not getting what we want. I think as women we are particularly fond of this faulty approach to life. I don’t know where we got the idea that everyone, especially our men, should be able to read our minds. And deliver to us our unspoken and most often unclear, undefined desires.

I mean, really? How could anyone give you what you yourself don’t know that you want? If you cannot articulate it to yourself, and articulate it to him, how is he supposed to know?

Yes, yes, I understand that it happens sometimes. He just does that perfect thing at the perfect time. And it happens in the movies a lot. I don’t read romance novels but I suspect it happens all of the time there as well.

Hello. We are grown and capable women. We do not live in a romance novel. Thankfully. We do not live in fear. We ask ourselves what it is we desire. Next we set ourselves in motion to receive it.

This can mean many things. Sometimes it means praying for guidance on the next step and stopping to hear the answer.

Sometimes it means following your spirit and acting in faith. Sometimes it requires opening our mouths and asking. Gently, lovingly, respectfully.

It is a miracle what happens when we simply ask with clarity.

Yeah, okay, I hear ya that things are not exactly the way you had planned. Things are not exactly the way you would prefer. Things are not progressing in the manner or at the speed that you had “hoped.” You are feeling stuck.

It is okay to be disappointed. It is okay to grieve any sense of loss you may be feeling. But wallowing in it for too long makes it grow, not go away.

You now have a choice. You have a decision to make. It may not “feel” like you have a choice because you have always done things a certain way and you think that it is expected that you continue to do them that way. Heck, you may be the one who set that expectation.

I understand that.

I have been there.

The truth is that we do have a choice. Every choice has consequences but we do have a choice. Not doing anything is de facto choosing. It is choosing to let someone else decide for you. That choice, too, comes with consequences.

There is a time to do nothing. Even that is a misnomer. Because I recommend that in the time that you are doing nothing, that you are actually actively waiting for guidance, seeking clarity on the next step and getting very clear on what you desire.

So I encourage you, and me for that matter, to DO SOMETHING. Make a decision, make a choice and take action.

Love yourself enough to take personal responsibility. Love yourself enough to decide, to choose, to be fully you and not a victim of circumstance.

Sometimes therapy can be a great place to hide. All of that venting, analysis and talking and talking and talking without having to “do” anything is so safe, so comfortable. It is so satisfying to go and talk to someone for an hour and to feel good that we are really “trying.” To pay them to hear us. Then we leave and live life exactly as before. Next week comes and you are back in the chair, paying for another hour, no different than you were before.

Except, the funny thing is you actually are different than you were before. You are more mired in your circumstances than ever. You have sunk a little deeper into the quicksand. You have talked more about your husband, your job, and all of these external circumstances. You have talked about all of that stuff outside you that you wish would change. If only it would change. You are actually feeling a little more defeated inside with every session.

I am not against the counseling, psychology or psychiatric industries. I am sure that many people get benefit from it.

I, however, really didn’t. Other than, now, for me to understand why it didn’t help me and in the sense that everything in my life brought me to where I am now, for which I am grateful. I am also grateful for the wonderful people who worked to serve me in that way. It just so happened that it wasn’t about any of the things we tended to focus upon and they couldn’t or didn’t understand how to show me that.

You see, it was all about me. Me learning to receive, allow and accept the love that was there for me, that had been there for me all along, and loving myself with that same love.

The irony of life is that we have lost touch with how to love ourselves. What used to come naturally and so easily, is buried. Often quite deeply. We have been doing things for so long in the way that we were taught, that we have disconnected from our true selves. For decades we have been told to behave, don’t talk in class, keep your head down and your mouth shut and to squash ourselves over and over and over. Now it is habit.

That is the good news and the reality. The good news is that habits can be replaced systematically. The reality is that undesirable habits must be replaced with new, better ones. We cannot, except in rare instances, just change our habits over night, much less the whole interconnected lot of them. It is a process, a peeling of the onion, as we get back to our true nature, one of loving, full expression of who we really are. Creating these new habits in the most efficient and fastest method requires a system.

I have been building my system for years now and I know it works. I am living proof. Now I coach women on the very system that saved me where neither therapy nor any other method could. To learn more visit www.lovestartswithme.com.

Imagination and possibility were so plentiful for us when we were children. It was natural to pretend all day and it helped us to learn and grow. Back then we spoke of all manner of unlimited opportunity. We were all artists. We were all singers. We were all songwriters and actors. There was no censoring.

We are now learning through quantum physics that our imagination is very powerful. Our thinking, especially when coupled with emotion, creates our life, what we see in the physical. That is a wonderful thing. It has led to everything you have in your life today, good and bad.

I think that is one of the reasons that I am so drawn to Disney. This whole experience, the films, the parks, the ships, everything about it sparks and celebrates the magic of creativity and excellence. It encourages us to return to the imagination we enjoyed and employed for our benefit as kids. It helps us to connect with that now.

Scripture says that one must come as a small child. To receive as a child would. To be open and willing and ready, shedding all preconceived notions, cynicism and doubt – vain imaginations.

Let us return to that state of openness and possibility in pretending. Let us re-engage our imagination in creating and receiving the life we choose to see for ourselves. It is ready and waiting for us as we have faith to receive.

 

 

God has a great sense of humor, in my experience. He loves to give you a wink here and there to prove it.

I wrote those two lines and then stopped. My original thought didn’t seem right for today as I began to write it out.

So I took a break. I read an email a friend sent me. It was a blog post and the blogger was advocating what most would consider madness. He suggested doing nothing. Taking a year off to get clear. The comments section was mixed with lots of thank you, great advice and plenty of fear-based responses telling him he was insane and why.

I thought it was an interesting gauge of where each respondent was in his or her life. And a pretty radical recommendation.

I then looked up and saw on my desk a hand-written verse of Scripture. It is the only one I ever recall writing out and placing in plain view like that. My intuition had me do it a couple years back. For such a time as this, I suppose.

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong, vigorous and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

I thought to myself that courage is much easier to come by when one knows her purpose. Otherwise, it can be tough to muster. Once you know your why, it becomes much simpler. Not easy necessarily but simple.

Then, I got a message from a lady saying that she had just been reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, which I highly recommend, by the way. She was looking at the attributes of a leader and mentioned that she felt like she was struggling with definiteness of decision and not coincidentally, she said she was struggling with courage. She intuitively knew that the two were related and that once the decision was made that the courage would be there.

Once again, God shows that great sense of humor and provides me a real-time example as He reinforces a message.

Do you have definiteness of purpose? Can you hear your own spirit crying out to be heard and to do what you are here to do?

Would you like to know where to start without having to take a year off? Not that there is anything wrong with that. 😉

Through August 29, use the code word AugustCalltoAction and the Clarity Call is yours, compliments of Love Starts with Me.    

I used the word want in the title here for teaching emphasis. I usually choose not to use the word because I know how powerful our words are and the word “want” is filled with inherent lack. To want focuses on the absence of something rather than celebrating or looking for the best. If you focus on want you will get more want.

That out of the way, I will ask you another way. What do you desire? What do you like? What would you like to see continue or increase?

Do you even know? Most of us don’t.

For so long, we have snuffed out our inner light and our inner desires. We have stifled our spirits so much that we can scarcely hear anymore.

Growing up the youngest of six kids, I was trained not to ask for or expect anything. And to be grateful for it. I got really good at it. At keeping my mouth shut and being thankful for whatever I did get. I love the latter part of that. I do think it is important to give thanks for everything we do have.

I think it is equally important to ask for what we would like.

No ask-y, no get-ty.

When I was 5 years old and in kindergarten, we had the one long day instead of the usual half day. On that day, they had an assembly for the school. We kindergarteners got to sit way up front on the floor of the cafetorium to watch. They had, amongst whatever else that I don’t recall, a magician. He did all of the normal tricks, scarves, cards, and hat stuff. He also did something that I will never forget. He asked for a volunteer from the audience. He picked one of the kids, but not someone from my class. He then asked the girl what she would wish for if she could have anything. He had to goad her along a bit I am sure. Then, he pulled a box of candy from his hat.

Even (and especially) at 5 I thought, what?! Are you kidding me?! He said you could ask for anything and you asked for candy?

I suspect that the girl didn’t come up with candy on her own. I suspect that she, being put on the spot, didn’t think to ask for anything at all. I suspect that the magician suggested to her that she should ask for candy.

Why has that small incident stuck with me for, ahem, a goodly number of years? Because we all do it. We are not clear. We are not ready and able to give voice to our desires on the spot, if at all. So we get candy. Or some other nice but not fabulous prize. A pittance of what we could have had if we had only asked.

So often we do not have because we do not ask. We do not ask for a variety of reasons but a central one is that we do not even know what to ask for. We haven’t allowed ourselves to look within to find what it is that we actually desire.

The sooner we listen and become clear about our desires, the sooner we step up and clearly ask, the sooner we will be enjoying so much more than just the conciliatory candy.

This weekend, I did a workout that my new trainer provided for me. I had been the only client of my previous trainer and it became too difficult for us to coordinate schedules as we both grow our businesses. So she suggested another trainer at her gym.

I was a little skeptical from the very beginning, I must say. When someone else chooses for you, it is normal to be just a little leery. When I showed up and she was already training two others, my red flag went up even further. I am used to being a solo client. You know, one on one, personal training.

That is not how this went. Okay, let’s keep an open mind. First set – superset – a little heavier than normal but okay we will do this. Next up, a compound exercise. I am thinking, and saying as I eye the very heavy weight on the floor, where is the weight you would like me to use? Did Christine tell you I am just restarting here? And, um, I have never done this one before.

Didn’t phase her. Nor did any other comment or suggestion I made throughout the workout. Okay, well just get through it and find another trainer. I did get through it. Sore as heck but I did get though it. It felt really good.

More scheduling conflicts and 100+ degree temps at scheduled workout times – did I mention my gym has no AC? – and I suggested she just email me a workout. I mostly know the exercises but count on the variety, accountability and yes, challenges my coach provides.

When I got the emailed workout I literally started laughing. I simply replied “Thanks.” I had no intention of doing that workout. I mean, are you kidding me? What kind of crack smoking inspired this?

And then my intuition gave me a little nudge. She thinks you can do it. She thinks this is a beginner workout. Why don’t you think so? Why don’t you see that you can do it if she does? Are you really going to just accept that you “can’t?” That doesn’t sound like you. That sounds like old defeatist, limited thinking programming, your freddy.

Ugh! Sometimes it is painful hearing the truth from yourself. And it is always beneficial.

So, I committed to doing it. I was going to do it to the letter, as best I could. If she thought I could do it, I could do it. So I did. It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t have to be. I was conscious and I watched to make sure that I was safe in my body. And I did it.

It was all mindset all along. It all is.

If you are ready to change your life, you must change your mindset. You have heard it over and over. You may have even tried. I can show you how to do so in simple, practical ways. It starts with loving yourself enough to know you are worth the effort.

Through August 29, use the code word AugustCalltoAction and the Clarity Call is yours, compliments of Love Starts with Me.

In working with women in relationships, the subject of forgiveness comes up rather frequently. God gave us our spouses and families so that we can learn from them through those most intimate relationships. When we are that close to anyone, our issues and theirs come out. Freely.

There is the old joke, if you think you are enlightened just go home for the holidays.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing elixirs known to man. When we forgive and release, a weight is removed from our spirit, one that we might not even have known was there. It can tend to sneak up, like chains that slowly tighten over time, unnoticed.

The most interesting thing about forgiveness that I have discovered is that it can be more difficult to forgive ourselves than anyone else. Part of the reason for that is that we do not even realize that we need to. We do not realize the heavy burden of regret, resentment, bitterness and anger that we can have toward ourselves. The times we let ourselves down, the promises we made to ourselves and didn’t keep, the mistakes of the past, the state of our current affairs add up and can all contribute to the feeling. Oftentimes, it is at a subconscious level.

Knowing that we create and bear responsibility for our own lives can sometimes be twisted into guilt. However, it is the gateway to true freedom, as we forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes, knowing that we can change.

If you think this doesn’t apply to you, I would encourage another look for it is not a one time thing. You don’t clean the bathroom once and say, whew, I am glad I don’t have to do that again!

A lack of self forgiveness is amazing in that it often shows up in resentment, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness for others. When you see yourself exhibiting any of those, even at the smallest levels, it is time to go inside and take a look. Ask to be shown and then release and accept forgiveness for yourself. When you do that it is easy to forgive others. You will be so glad you did.