How do we let it go? How do we even consider an alternative when no one ever told us that there was one? How do we give up the idea of worry, busy-ness and anxiety as a badge of honor?

How do we look at what Dilbert called the curse of competence and see how it really manifests in our lives?

How can we, we who hold the whole world together, learn to really let go? I mean, I have to do it or no one will. No one else will do it. No one else can do it. No one knows how to do it to my standard. It is easier for me to just do it myself. I hate doing it but I have to. So I do. And do. And do.

Sound familiar?

There really, truly, amazingly is an answer. There is a secret that has been hidden away – buried deeper, it seems, every year. This secret is so powerful that it will change the world.

Out of routine. I have a very set routine. Not rigid or inflexible but a regular series of actions I take to start my day. I know where I am going and I do the best each day to move forward. Today, I was not able to do much of this routine in the normal order.

But I am still doing it as best I can.

Establishing a routine is a wonderful way of cementing habits and making them automatic. You are already doing this unconsciously. You follow a normal course of events in your daily life. Odds are, however, that if you haven’t taken the time to design the routine purposefully, that it isn’t serving you as well as it could.

No need to beat yourself up about the routine you have now. No need to worry about starting an entirely different one tomorrow. Just making a decision to make some improvement, some one small action repeated until it is the new normal, will eventually change your life completely. Brick by brick you are laying the foundation to a vastly improved life.

What can you decide to do now?

I have been thinking lately about how I can help more people. The work that I have done and help my clients to do touches so many areas of life. It is truly like a domino effect. You can start with a goal of improving pretty much anything and at the end of the day it comes back to you. You loving, respecting, accepting, allowing and embracing the true you. Until you do that, problems persist and dreams go unrealized.

Most people don’t walk around thinking about that. Most people have real problems here and now and they are looking for real solutions now. We don’t have time to look for the root causes of our troubles if a pill will take the pain away now.

I read somewhere that a woman’s mind is akin to a jewelry box that has been turned upside down. If you reach in to grab a necklace, you are going to come up with something else, too. You will get an earring, another necklace, a ring, and you really never know what it will be. I think this is actually true for everyone if you look deep enough. Our issues are interconnected. Our bodies, minds, spirits are all integrated. They are all essential and they all speak to us in different ways. In a similar fashion, the areas of our lives are all interconnected and tell us different things about ourselves in different ways.

Your career is related to and influenced by your relationships. Your relationships are related to and impacted by your money. Your money is related to and resultant of your thinking. Your thinking is related to your health and vice versa. And so on and so on. And there are distinct ties between those categories and so many others.

All of it boils down to the integrated, whole and complete you. That is the good news and the bad news.

The good news is that you can have it all.

You can have it all because it is all intertwined. Establish great roots and there is no stopping you.

However, without the whole and complete you in place, every area will suffer to some degree. One area will be top of mind for you today. One area will be the biggest source of your frustration and greatest desire for improvement. Which is it for you? Please respond to me here and let me know what is on your mind.

Let me know what area of your life you would most like to see sprinkled with pixie dust today.

I have always been somewhat independent. I like that about me and it has served me in a number of ways. My mom taught us that we girls should have a great education and career and that it is best to never depend on anyone, particularly a husband, to take care of us. This is somewhat odd because my father was the sole breadwinner for most of my childhood and the vast majority of my parents’ marriage. Even in his illness and death, the plans and provisions Dad had made have taken great care of my mom. But somehow I got the opposite message very strongly.

This is a good thing, for I believe that each of us has a calling. Each of us is here to do something to serve others and we will only be our happiest whilst pursuing that.

I also know that life, for me anyway, is meant to be shared. While I love my Me time, I also love being connected and loved and part of a strong, intimate union and partnership.

Partners. I never really knew what this word meant before. However, as I began to truly love and accept and respect myself, I have grown in understanding of the concept.

Partners are equal. Partners each have a role. Partners each bring strengths to the table. Ideally each partner is a nice complement to the other and both grow and expand from the relationship. We are better together.

Partnership includes holding each other accountable in a loving and respectful way. It is about having guidelines and acceptable standards for each other and the relationship as a whole. That perhaps sounds harsh. It isn’t. It is what I will call expectations without attachment. It simply is how it is. Each party knows and happily, enthusiastically agrees to how it is. Neither has to be concerned about these expectations or worry that they will not be met. They will be. And if on the odd occasion they are not, well, then it may be time to revisit, but more likely it is time for grace and more love and respect. Notice I said grace. Not sweeping it under the rug. Not ignoring it or making a huge production of it.

Simple accountability checks and communication.

It is not one person doing everything. It is not one person doing all of the things that neither care to do. It is about playing to strengths. It is about delegating, trading or even hiring others to do the things that neither have an affinity for. It is taking excellent care of yourself, but being mindful of your partner at all times. It is supporting and respecting your partner at all times, even when disagreeing.

It is going first. It is giving from your overflow. You have put your mask on first so now you have plenty to give. When you have plenty, there is no resentment or keeping score.

Partners. Pure magic.

One of the coolest things about what I do as a coach is that I often get as much out of the process as my clients. As you teach, you continually learn more, reinforce and, ideally, put into action the things that you have learned. You really haven’t learned it if you only have head knowledge of it.

The real test is the living it.

The real power comes from the doing – the action.

There is nothing like advising others on the way to go to keep you on the path yourself.

So thank you, for holding me accountable and reminding me to be who I am at a higher and higher level each day. I am very grateful and blessed!

I am so very blessed.

I live the life I love.

I have created this life through my thoughts, prayers, words and actions.

I ask. I receive. I give thanks always.

You can join me. There is always room for one more.

I can show you the way.

I am sitting on my patio overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Laguna Niguel as I write this.

The firepit is lit.

An oversight on my part in booking hotels ended in a very happy bit of serendipity. An amazing upgrade adds to the fun. These lovely coincidences happen to me all the time now as I choose to create a fantastic life for myself.

A change of room type to better suit my business at Disneyland led to a change in plans. And a lovely detour to the beach today.

You, too, can create the life you love. My calling, my path and my desire is to help teach you what I have learned. That is what Love Starts with Me is all about. Stay tuned as we go further into how.

So many smiles.
So much laughter.
The crying and crankiness of tiredness and pushing too hard.
Biker jacket, tattoos and mouse ears that go so well together.
Those who come alone.
Those who come in a big group.
Comfort and practicality over fashion.
Fashion over anything else.
Boldness in wearing what we please.
Self expression at its care-free finest.
So many different styles of ears – all united.
We are all childlike here, every one of us.
We are all part of something bigger here, something creative, inspiring and precious.

I’m going to Disneyland! Today my husband and I are going to California. We are headed for Disneyland and I am so excited. We are there for my new coaching program designed to help people reconnect with their inner child. It is an immersive experience that allows us to step back in time and say yes to ourselves rather than no. It is empowerment at its deepest core.

Yes, please and thank you!

When we were kids, we were told no so often that many times it is all we remember. Our parents were doing their jobs, and to the best of their ability. They told us no for our safety in some cases, to teach us and because they wanted to protect us. Oftentimes, though, they were also coming from their own place of limitation, lack and fear. No worries, for today is a new day.

Are you ready to say yes to yourself, for yourself? To learn more, ask here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xorNjvg1B48
How about we consider allowing others to be who they are and loving them regardless?

When we truly love ourselves, this becomes so much easier. We realize that nothing anyone else can do or say or think can diminish us in any way. We are whole and complete and thus, unshaken.

We can continue to love and spread joy. We can allow everyone else to be and embrace that, even when it is foreign or unacceptable for ourselves.

We can encourage them and help them to see the best in themselves. Of course in order to do that, we must first look for and find the best in them.

We can model another way. We can ask questions to help us both think. We cannot force change in anyone. We really shouldn’t try. It is an exercise in frustration and futility for all involved.

Gandhi said “Be the change…” The only one we can directly change is ourselves. Other people cannot help but be impacted by your loving and respectful life.