Today is Good Friday. Every Friday is good, right? Yes, but there is more to this one than it just being the beginning of the weekend. It signals a new beginning. Regardless of your religious beliefs, it can be a new beginning for you as well.

No one can deny that Jesus dying on the cross and the recounting of that event and those that came after has changed the world. Even if you doubt that any of the rest of it happened or is true, it is hardly arguable that the man’s influence is still strong and growing today. The message that He and his followers share about what is possible, what we have been given, and how life can be, really is as advertised – good news.

I am no historian nor am I a theologian but what I know is that this Good News has saved me and countless others over the millennia since it was first delivered. To accept and know that I am worthy, whole and accepted despite all of the garbage and old programs to the contrary is really quite revolutionary. To not have to live with the guilt and regret of the past or the fear and anxiety of the future is at the core of the teaching. It has all been paid so there is no value to carrying any of it anymore. I think sometimes this message gets lost even on those of us who are declared and wholehearted followers.

Accepting all of that love and forgiveness by actually accepting, loving and forgiving ourselves, that is my message to you today and every day. It will absolutely revolutionize your life and it is my prayer for us all.

 

Yesterday, I wrote about being the CEO of your life and about the importance of saying no. Sometimes saying no is the absolute best thing you can ever do but fear stops us. Well, it used to, until yesterday when we decided it wouldn’t anymore!

There is another even more insidious issue with fear. Fear more often stops us from saying yes to the things that can really expand us and grow us. This one has been a big one in my past. I could relate so many stories it would make you laugh, or cry, or feel sorry for me. However, to have you feel sorry for me is the last thing I intend. Or desire. Or choose to create.

Hmmm, let’s pick a good example. How about the fear of doing any sort of new project? For years, I would hire someone to do work for me because I had never done it before and didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, what if I messed it up? What if I caused a catastrophic wound to my home or myself by attempting to paint the bedroom? Oh no, no. I better just hire someone.

As I began examining my fears, I decided to give painting a try. Some dear friends in other states who do all sorts of home projects with confidence and great results encouraged me. I mean if they can do it, perhaps I could, too. So, I did. On my bathroom cabinets. With stain, not paint. Now, anyone who knows about painting may be laughing now, for it seems I picked the most difficult painting job for my first go. Well, it was ugly at first but I learned a lot. Now I have fabulous new-looking cabinets that I did myself. The amount of joy and sense of accomplishment I got out of that is phenomenal. Who knew? I have since tackled all sorts of painting and realized wow, all the other types are so much easier than staining cabinets!

There are many, many other examples of fear holding me back from saying yes. Going away to college. Heck, I didn’t even take the SAT. Leaving jobs when it was time. Not saying what I could have said in meetings or sharing my ideas or challenging the status quo, not showing my husband how much he means to me and not saying yes to myself too many times to count. I no longer regret any of this. It brought me here and I love my life. I also now see that it is really magical to say yes when I do so consciously. I am now here for myself in a way that I never was before. I am here for myself in a way that no one else on earth can be. Love starts with me. And it starts with me saying yes to the real me, no more fear.

Part of being a leader, of being an executive – and we are each the CEO of our own life, is doing the important work and letting go of, delegating the rest. As CEO we decide the focus and major imperatives at any given time. If I am not a strong CEO, then the Board, the market, the wind and the daily circumstance will decide my path and I will blindly go along not realizing how off course I have become. In my analogy, we have a Board of Directors who supports us and gives us latitude, or better yet, we are also Chairman of the Board. We do not do this in a vacuum and we can seek input for sure, but at the end of the day, it is our decisions that count.

We see the bigger picture and how each decision either takes us toward or away from those imperatives and our vision. If it takes us away, even if it is a wonderful and worthy thing, we have to say no. For saying anything other than no does harm to the very thing we decided to do. Perhaps the goal is to be revised, but that is another discussion altogether. Perhaps the scope must be redefined for the allotted time period but if the goal is the goal then anything else is distraction.

The difficulty in saying no arises from fear. I have done so many things in my life because of some sort of fear of not doing it. Fear that I would offend, fear that I would let someone down, fear that no one else could do it as well as I could (boy, is that a big load of self-important drivel, but it is okay I know better now), fear that I would miss out if I didn’t. Pair this with a misguided belief that somehow I could do something that no one else could or should do and that somehow, despite the facts, it would end up being a good thing if I could coax that square peg into the round hole. That got me a nice big bag of trouble…and some excellent learning and growth experiences.

So let’s drop the fears, let’s be true to ourselves, let’s maintain focus on what moves us forward and makes the best use of our talents, skills and unique magnificence. Isn’t that what we are here to do? Let’s embrace the journey and the process and let us find the joy in living true and excelling at the level that only doing just that can produce.

Yesterday, I spoke about overwhelm. It is truly becoming epidemic as our methods of communication become more prevalent, immediate and even invasive, if we allow them to be. I also mentioned that you can choose not to be overwhelmed and that I choose not to be overwhelmed.

I do and you can. It is not something that happened overnight. It was a process of becoming aware and realizing that overwhelm doesn’t benefit me in any way. It takes away all creative energy and the very problem solving ability necessary to address the issues at hand. Once I really understood that, I decided to drop it and leave it behind.

I do, however, still have to remind myself from time to time that I no longer “do” overwhelm. I can see it lurking at the corners trying to get in. I observe and sometimes even feel the pressure to conform and to just become overwhelmed like everyone else. Somehow, it is socially acceptable or even a badge of honor to talk about how busy, stressed and overwhelmed you are. What is odd, what is “off” is to talk about how calm and joyful you are in the midst of all the chaos.  Like you must be doing something wrong.

Which is really more “off?” To choose to be happy and peaceful or to allow outside pressures to dictate your state? I know that it all starts with me, from the inside out. Love starts with me, loving me and loving others and living in a way that shows a better way.

If you would like help in removing overwhelm, I am here for you. Keep reading or go here for some one-on-one time.

A few years ago my life was so hectic and so out of control in my mind that I could only do thirty minutes at a time. I would chunk my days into half-hours and would only really allow myself to look at, think about and focus on the next thirty minutes. I was so “busy” and had so many demands on my time and attention, many of which, I thought at the time, were forced on me by others. It was the best coping mechanism that I could muster in that space of a month or so. I looked at it as if it was not a great solution but one that worked. Otherwise, overwhelm would have taken an even greater toll.

I have learned so much since that time, thankfully. I did realize back then that I had tools to help deal with overwhelm but I didn’t realize I had the means to prevent it ever even occurring. I was on the right track with deciding to think about things in a certain way, in that case, only thirty minutes at a time, but there is more to it. I now know that no one else can impact my schedule without my allowing it. You may say well your boss can and your clients can and your spouse and kids can. No, they can’t. Read what I said there again. Without me allowing it, no one else can. I didn’t say that there wouldn’t be ramifications of me not allowing certain things but in the end I allow or disallow everything. There will be consequences. I have found that the ratio of pleasant to unpleasant side effects is 50:1 or greater and growing all the time, as I get better at choosing what gets my attention.

It is the same with all overwhelm, including and especially the thoughts that bring it about. I can choose to allow that or not. I can choose to approach everything in a relaxed and confident manner. I can choose to eliminate anything that doesn’t serve my goals and purpose. I can choose to table certain items. I can choose to do things differently than I have in the past. I can choose to question the necessity for meetings and projects. I can choose to remain present and really examine what is important and what is simply busy work or someone else’s agenda.  You can choose this, too.  You simply have to decide and apply.

I am not sure many of you know that I am a Certified Health Coach as well as American Association of Drugless Practitioners (AADP) certified. More importantly, I have done my 10,000 hours and probably much more, in studying and applying nutrition, health and exercise techniques in my own life. I have been fascinated with all of it from an early age.

When I was in grade school I was quite heavy. As a preschooler up through first grade, I was skinny and active and ate a lot. I recall being told that if I didn’t stop eating so much that I would get fat. I had that programming and sure enough, it happened. I was teased quite a bit and back then, I was one of the only “husky”, as Sears called it, kids. I wore half sizes. So it was 14 ½ or whatever, so if anyone saw that number immediately it was either, what is that or oh, that’s fat size.

When I was about 12 I went on my first real diet. I am pretty sure I had “tried” other things before then not knowing at all what I was doing, but after the sixth grade, my sister and I got a diet out of a magazine and we followed it to the letter. For maybe a few days. I can’t recall much other than being very hungry and deprived and learning that a saltine cracker has 12 calories so I could only have 5. A few months later, the females in our household all went on the bran diet, where we would sprinkle wheat bran on everything we ate before we ate it. The idea was that the extra fiber would be more filling and you would eat less. I think that was the idea anyway. Well, it worked for me. Mostly because wheat bran topping made everything taste like, well, raw wheat bran. I began to eat less and think more. I finally became much more aware of what I was eating and made much better choices.

So why do I tell you all of this? Because I have been on both sides of that equation and I know that nutrition can be a source of pain and struggle, or an amazing fuel for the life you were born to live. But like everything else, it begins with awareness. I cannot tell you exactly what is the best eating plan for you to follow. There are so many healthy ways of eating and we are each unique. You have to try a few and monitor the results in your energy, bloating or lack thereof, focus, feelings, and overall well-being. It is so very worth it. You are worth it, you know you are. Not just to look good, which is a fabulous benefit in and of itself, but to really feel good. Priceless!

This doesn’t have to change overnight. Consider it. Watch what you eat now with awareness. Ask if this is promoting health for me or detracting. Let your body answer. Listen and observe. Then, when you are ready, do. You don’t have to force it just know that you are finding the way.   Know that you will take the right path when it feels right to do so and that you will adjust as you learn more about what is optimal for you.

If you would like more assistance on this or any part of the lovingME lifestyle, the path begins here.

 

 

I look out my office window and I can see so much change every single day. Today it happens to be quite pronounced as I see the trees leafing out. They were not like that even a week or so ago. The daffodils’ parade has come and gone, performing so brilliantly as they do each year, as a preview of things to come. Magnificent!

It is the same in every aspect of life. We cannot always see the changes in such dramatic fashion as we can in nature day to day. But they are there. And they keep coming and give us a taste of what is down the road. The seeds that are planted today, the life that is lived today, all take us to the next level.

The trees and daffodils may not know this. They may not think about it in the way that we do, but they get their jobs done. They do not let themselves down or shirk from their potential or listen to some crappy mental programming telling them they can’t or shouldn’t or it’s too scary.  No, they know what to do each day and do it, using all of the resources they have at any given moment. The light, soil, temperature, so many things are completely out of their control. They do it anyway. They adjust to the conditions as they encounter them.  They come through and are always true to themselves.

Does the daffodil regret that it didn’t come sooner, or later, or wear something different? Does it worry that it won’t come through next spring or the spring after? I think not. It simply does its thing, its’ best given all it has at this time, and it lives. The results are evident and to be enjoyed and admired.

It is important to look to the future, to see and know what we will accomplish. However, the future can only be created in the here and now. So while we look to and plan for the future, we must know that the thoughts, words, actions and habits we create today are all that matters. Because the here and now is all we will ever have. It will always be here and now. So why not fully live in the now, now? We plant seeds and tend to what arises for tending today. Regrets of the past and worries of the future cannot help you get what you desire now nor can they get you the future you desire. So why not drop them? Watch yourself bloom!

We have all been created as creators. I don’t know if we really understand what that means or how powerful it is. We can create from the no thing whatever we conceive in our minds.

You have created the life you have now through your thoughts, words, actions and habits. Don’t like something? Accept where you are and envision the improvements to make. Then chip away at making them, doing what you know to do. The next steps  will come to you as you take those first steps. Will you stumble? Most assuredly. Will you learn from the trips and falls? You absolutely can if you choose to do so. You can and will learn more from them than you can from smooth sailing, that is for sure, but it has to be your conscious choice to accept and apply the learning. Otherwise, you will get the lesson again.

The Proverb says that if you don’t accept instruction and correction, learning from your mistakes, you despise yourself, but if you are open and accept the lesson, you will receive understanding. That is a paraphrase, as I tend to do, but the takeaway is this – how about we love ourselves by accepting responsibility and learning from our mistakes so that we can grow and expand? Note that nowhere does it mention being afraid of or embarrassed about correction and instruction. We have become conditioned to fear this very natural and normal learning process. It is how we grow and find out what doesn’t work on the way to what does. Somehow we have forgotten that.

If you can conceive it, you can create it but don’t expect it to magically appear if you are too afraid to take a step toward it. And don’t expect to create the life you desire if you are not clear on what that life is.

Time to take stock. Time to conceive your life from here forward and begin the process of creation. Or continue to feel stuck. It is your choice.

Not sure where to start?  How about here?

 

I am traveling today and in the space of less than 15 minutes I just met three people in the process of doing what they do to improve their health. I am so grateful and happy to see all of this momentum. The first I met in the stairwell walking down to the lobby. She was, as I do also, taking the stairs instead of the elevator to get a little more activity into her day. Unfortunately, this hotel doesn’t have internal first floor access so we had to ride the elevator down from 2 to 1.

In the elevator is another woman who is checking out (this early!) and has a couple bags including a small one that says “Feeding my happy.” I, of course, absolutely love this and mention it. She smiles and thanks me, thinking I meant her suitcase, which was also cool. Then I realize, it is her food! She brought her own food whilst traveling for work. How inspiring and wonderful! I used to bring some but I have gotten out of the habit. Consider me re-inspired!

Then, down in the coffee area, I was getting hot water with lemon and hot water for the tea that I do always bring with me. Another lady said to me, “Oh, I should do that instead of coffee,” seeing the lemon water. To which I said, showing her my teacup, “Why not both?”

It is all around us. Everyone is looking to do just a little or a lot to improve their health and take better care of their bodies. Makes me so proud. The reality is that it doesn’t matter how big or small the effort is. Just the act of doing it is a powerful force. If you can do one thing until it is habit, then you add another and do it until it is habit, pretty soon you are talking about exponential change.

I do not know the ad-man who came up with the Nike slogan. I suspect it was really Samantha Stephens and a wiggle of her nose but man, is it ever spot on. “Just do it!”

 

Yesterday’s post caused me some small angst in that I wasn’t sure if I was clear. So, I will take the opportunity to clarify today. The post, if you missed it, talked about the Bleacher’s song, I Wanna Get Better. I won’t recreate that whole thing but there was something I thought I should make clear from that.

First off, the whole premise of the lovingME lifestyle is to love, accept and respect yourself exactly as you are. Nothing about that has changed. You are absolutely awesome in your current state. Period. You were created as a magnificent, unique powerhouse.

Ironically, knowing that, I mean really knowing that and accepting it as fact, makes one see far greater things for oneself because you see that the potential is unlimited. And seeing that potential makes one seek to move into it in greater and greater ways all of the time. Somehow status quo doesn’t fit anymore. Being comfortable is no longer comfortable. Comfortable in your own skin, yes, but in how much life you are living? Well, there is so much more to be lived! So much more to be experienced! So much more to be learned! So much more to be CREATED!

And that, my friends, is what I meant by constantly moving toward improving, not that I or you or anyone has to get better for any other reason than you love yourself too much not to walk toward it with open arms. It is the most natural state.