I had the Bleacher’s song, I Wanna Get Better in my head this morning. I love that song because every day I choose to improve and look for ways to get better at whatever, at everything, even at nothing. I thought of including a link to it so I checked out YouTube and then wasn’t so sure when I read the lyrics. I knew some of them but when you just read it, it can come across as pretty harsh and contrary to how we think here at Lovestartswithme. So I started to scrap the idea. 

But then I dug a little deeper. Turns out the lyricist had written an account of his life in this song. He recounts his experience as a kid knowing he was called, seeing the horror of 9-11, and then his sister dying and his incredible loss with that and the downward spiral into drugs as he tried to cope with it all. Then his sister comes to him in a dream and shows him how a life can move from the darkness and tells him to get better. So he kills the demon in his head.

I may be paraphrasing and certainly I haven’t interviewed anyone for this so my interpretation could be off on some points. It is how I choose to perceive the song, anyway, so that is really all that matters as I listen or sing it to myself.

I think there are two lessons here today. One is that we can always get better, if we choose to do so. The other is that we can choose our own meaning for everything. It is personal and private and we can look at the world, and art especially, in any way that resonates with us. We do it all the time unconsciously anyway, so why not give yourself permission to look at things in a way that helps you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk3a1LLa4Ys

Today is an exciting day! One of my dear friends and mastermind teammates is launching his new book. I am so very proud of him for so many reasons. He is such a wonderful, caring, charismatic man. He just exudes fun, genuineness, and compassion. And now he has written and published his first book all on his own! Well, he had help along the way, but he created the book and created the energy and focus that led to him getting the help to make it reality. He used his life experience helping survivors and families of those impacted by airline incidents to write a thoughtful and tender guide to life for anyone who reads it. It is fantastic and a page-turner and it is his story. You can take a look here.

I met Ken a few years back at a cooking class of all places. It is no normal cooking class but one of the hottest and most exclusive cooking experiences around. He has been going for many years and I would go whenever I could get in. A couple years ago, we were assigned to the same team and we bonded. I learned he was creating his own consulting firm and I was very excited to hear all about that. I encouraged him as I encouraged myself so we started a friendship and co-mentorship that continues.

People who can help you and whom you can help are all around you. You don’t have to go to a fancy cooking class to find them, although I highly recommend that one. 🙂 Once you decide to do something, they will be there and you will see them if you are open. Go to give and you get more than you ever thought possible. I got a famous author buddy, paving the way for us all!

Understanding the source of your income and prosperity is important if you desire to grow and expand. You may look at your job and think that it is the source of your income. Well, yes, it is the method by which you are receiving your income today but is it really the source?

I get my electricity from a company who bills me. They do not own the lines or any of the infrastructure to deliver that electricity to me, but they do provide it via that connection. So you might say that they are the source of my electricity and all of the wonderful things that it provides for me including the light allowing me to write this now and the power for the wireless connection and the computer on which I type. Sure, they help me to get it today, but are they really the source? The power came from the coal or wind or whatever was used to produce the electricity. And of course then there was the Power behind all of that. I am grateful for all involved but I know the real Source.

So, if you look at your current job with gratitude and thanksgiving, you see that it is not really the source, but the current delivery mechanism. It is the place where you turn your energy, your power into value that benefits others. In exchange for that, you get what we call money.

When you understand that the job you have now provides a place for you to create value into the world, you may start seeing it differently, from a higher plane. You are there to create. I don’t care if you think you don’t have a creative bone in your body, you are there to create and are creating value. If you are not, then you will find yourself with a new opportunity to create value in another venue or another way. And that is okay. Because the source wasn’t ever the job. The power to create was and is inside you and no one can take that away from you but you.

I started my computer this morning and noticed the little “updates waiting to be installed” message at the bottom. I must admit, I mostly ignore that and all other things computer. It got me thinking, however, which I must admit, many things do. What if we had that for our minds? What if we had reminders, warnings and queries to notify us of changes in our programming? What if we got the courtesy reminder that it is time for a new, better version of our thinking? Would we ignore it like the popups?

I actually think we do get these reminders and I do think we ignore them, most of the time. Our spirit speaks to us and very quietly says, does that sound right, what you just heard/learned/were asked to do? Our spirit says does it benefit us to install the Kardashian life download? Does it help us to keep running this defeatist program from the third grade? Does it advance us to use this Windows 97 routine we keep as our go-to?  Eventually, ignored enough times, we become blind to the popup completely.

Most of us are unaware of the programs we are running, the source of them and the affect they have on us. Others of us have some awareness and have actively started to do the work to add new programs. I have another thought. It may be time to consider wiping the system and starting from scratch. This time, carefully selecting what is recovered and restored and what is added going forward.  I am not saying that everything old has to go but examining it all with awareness just makes sense.  

Need some help to do this? Figuring out a baseline is a great place to start.

 

We are a couple of days from the official first day of spring. For many schools across the country, it is spring break time. Ah, spring break! For many of us this week, we are seeing some wonderful signs of spring and the fever is hitting. Spring fever!

So why is spring break reserved for school kids and college kids (and sometimes their parents who take time then because the kids are off)? Why is spring break reserved for only some? Why is spring break reserved for spring? Why can’t we have spring break all the time?

Well, in some ways we can, if we decide to do so. We can, every single day, have a lovingME moment. A little slice of spring break. Spring is a fantastic reminder to slow down and take in the time, place and space we are in.   The changes are so dynamic and so gorgeous that it does take our breath away even if we are immersed in our busy, busy, workaday lives.

You don’t have to be on spring break to enjoy it fully.  You, too, can take a moment. Today. Right now. Are you worth it? You are to me. Can you fit it in? I am giving you the time. Are you allowed to take time for you, for this? I am giving you permission. It will reset your entire day. Here we go.

It doesn’t have to be sunny and warm in order to do this. I prefer some nature around but you can do it anywhere, even at your desk. Shut the door. Close your eyes and think of your best memory for a few minutes. Or look out the window at whatever catches your eye and see it with a whole new focus on how interesting and beautiful it is. Or do whatever suits you for it is YOUR lovingME moment. Not mine, not anyone else’s. Listen to your spirit telling you what is best and do not worry about what anyone else would think or say or do. Simply do whatever is best for you with presence, focus and gratitude.

Ah, spring break!

 

Do you think people are basically good, honest and giving? Do you think they are out to get all they can and to take it from you? Whichever you believe, you will see in your life.

Do you think that people want to help you or do you think that you are a burden to them if you ask? Again, whichever way you see it, you will be right.

Do you think your life is on a downward slide and that things just keep getting harder? Or do you think that this is a great day and a new beginning full of certain blessings? I say, follow me here, son. I think you get the picture. It is your choice. Your thoughts create your experience.  Choose wisely.

 

I have had an epiphany of sorts over the last few days. I have felt some frustration building and I have been watching it, observing to discern the true source. I was physically tired on Friday, having let outside factors dictate my schedule and my schedule dictate my thinking. It all comes down to thinking and my environment had not been conducive to my best thinking. My lack of quality thinking then allowed me to dwell on some things that were temporary as if they were permanent.

Now that I have rested and refocused, I see those things for exactly what they are.   They are temporary. They are merely guideposts showing me, rather, flagging me to things that I am to learn. If I do not learn these things this time, then as happens in these things, they will recur.

So I choose to be still, to go inside and to ask, what is it that I am to learn here? What lesson is being delivered for my growth? What message am I getting? One is that allowing other people’s schedules to dictate mine can be a mistake, even if done for the “right” reason, if it causes me harm in the process. Listening to your gut is not selfish or foolish but will provide a better solution for you and, ultimately, for all.

The other is that going against your gut, even for something that seems small, can and will likely grow into something larger that will have to be reconciled in the end. If I think it will be okay and I somehow manage to justify it to myself in the process, unconsciously, which is normally the case in these situations, then I will find out later that there was a cost for that. The seemingly small immediate cost is a loss of self trust. My spirit knows that it has been betrayed and those betrayals add up over time. That is how we get disconnected from ourselves and the cost of that is infinite if we allow it to be.

The great news is that it is easy to get back on track and to rebuild to better than before. Just like a bone that has been broken is stronger at the mended breaking point than it was before, so is our spirit when healed. Let us embrace healing today.

We have been given the most amazing gifts. We were created as such unique and individual wonders. All of this is already ours. But we do not realize it. We do not accept and allow most of it much of the time.

It is like the story of the Acres of Diamonds, The Alchemist, The Wizard of Oz, the search we all undertake in our lives to find the very things we already have. The journey reveals what we couldn’t see before. God has given us a sound mind and self-control. He didn’t give us a spirit of fear but we have picked one up along the way.

You may think well, I do have a sound mind and some self control when I really focus and I am not really so afraid. Really? Is that true? Are you really embracing and using these tools, these gifts fully?

Do you worry about your job, your prospects, your to-do list, what everyone is doing to you, what others will think? Do you worry that you will get ill or that you won’t get well? Do you worry that you forgot to do something or made a mistake and now someone is going to find out and you will suffer in some way for it?

Do you worry at all? It is okay if you do, everyone does. That is what our culture teaches anyway.  It is extremely socially acceptable to worry.  We can find ourselves in the middle of a worry-off.  Your worries are awful but mine are so much worse.  Who is that helping?  Do you think worry is what God intends for us? Do you think that your worry will add anything to your life or the situation? Do you think you can learn to stop worrying? If you do or you don’t you are right. Worry is based on fear. If you have no fear then you have no worry. If you have full understanding that it is not only okay not to fear and worry, but also our natural state, and all you have to do is reclaim it, then you are accepting and allowing full use of the gifts you have already been given.

 

 

We live in an ever-changing world. This is a fact. It is also a very good thing. It can sometimes feel like it is not a good thing because we look at change with fear. However, learning to embrace and to adapt and direct change in your own life is one of the most beneficial things you can ever do.

You must have the right mindset in order to do this. You must have an inner knowing, a knowledge of yourself and your capabilities and a trust in yourself in order to really embrace change and ride the wave of it. If you live in fear and doubt it is because you do not feel as though you have the resources and capabilities to handle what comes your way or more importantly, to obtain what you look to achieve.

People may wonder why I call my website and business Love Starts With Me. Executive coaching with that name? Well, loving yourself is a key component of your career, relationships, resiliency and overall happiness. When you love yourself, you trust yourself. You know that you are there for yourself and you take care of yourself. You know that you can and will do what you intend to do. You know that no matter what obstacle is thrown at you, you will prevail. You simply care too much about yourself not to show up for yourself and others. By having that foundation, you can build your life or rebuild your life. Without it? Your efforts are built on sand or on someone else’s foundation. Someone else’s foundation may be an anchor for you or may end up moving in a direction opposite of your desires. You, however, take your firm foundation with you wherever you go.

Need some help getting started fortifying your foundation?

On the road again. I am so blessed to be able to travel and meet new people. So many wonderful cities throughout our nation and so many different and unique people. Amazing people. Different ways of living, different lifestyles and different routines. This is America. This is the world. We are all so individual and precious and so alike deep down.

I am a part of them and they a part of me. We are all doing our thing, each separately and yet somehow we are all connected, building and working and co-creating together. I don’t fully get this yet. I cannot see the whole big picture for sure, but I feel it. I feel like we are all part of something so much bigger than each of us. But that each of us has a special, important, no, critical role and we have to be free and to step up and be our best and live out that role. Am I living out mine as best I can? Are you living out yours?

We are all living the best we can with the awareness we have at this moment. But there is always more awareness to be had. This is not to say we regret the past or fear the future but merely to say, let’s do this! Let’s get more aware and become more as we do. Let’s make conscious choices now that we can see.