I am not sure that most people look at dissatisfaction as a gift, but I have learned to do so. I generally look on the bright side of things and search for the best in every situation. I don’t typically go looking for things to complain about. Dissatisfaction, when I experience it, is a beautiful wake-up call for me. I choose to see it as such.

Rather than try to gloss over it, as I might have done in the past, I now give thanks for the strong message it is relaying to me that something has to change. That my good life – the status quo, is holding me back from my great life.

The wonderful news is that, armed with this new awareness that the dissatisfaction delivered, I can now make a conscious choice to change things. To find the root of the issue and decide that I shall no longer tolerate or comply with it. And I know that I am well able to make that decision for I have free will.

I am not saying that there will not be consequences, of course there will be. I am saying that I will take those consequences as a part of the growth process.   I refuse to let fear of some unknown consequence hold me paralyzed in a situation that is not to my benefit or delight.

I didn’t get to this state overnight. It took practice and it still requires faith and courage. I am simply unwilling to settle anymore.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

(in the cheesy movie trailer voice) In a world where distractions come at you faster and in greater number than ever before in the history of mankind…the ability to focus becomes more valuable than gold.

We all know that in order to really create amazing results we have to focus. We have to have a fierceness about pushing all unimportant, unrelated and even oftentimes urgent but not important tasks aside in order to do what we are here to do. We have to honor and value our time and protect ourselves and our 5 year old child brains from chasing the butterflies and candy.

I spoke too generally there. We don’t have to. Of course we don’t have to. Most of us actually don’t naturally do this on a consistent basis. I am one of those who don’t.

However, my goals – which include not only financial and career goals but relationship and lifestyle goals call to me too loudly to ignore them or this advice. I have done the career goal at the cost of the others before and I refuse to go there again.

So, I continue to refine my routine, my support system and my insulation, if you will, so that I can focus on what is important to me and let the rest slide. I have a suite of tools and systems in place to assist me. I have a team. I have a process in place to increase my grit – my level of unbreakable faith and action in the direction of my goals.

And I have a coach. And another set of accountability partners as well. Living the life of my design and desire is that important to me. It is for my clients as well – that is why they are my clients.

I had a friend ask me about the CSM acronym behind my name on LinkedIN. I had nearly forgotten it was there. I earned the certification in the summer of 2014 because I was very drawn to the concepts even though the company I was working for at the time was not using it back then.

For those who don’t know, I will suspend the suspense. It means Certified ScrumMaster.

I am certified to act as a ScrumMaster in a Scrum environment. OK, wow Suz, that clears up – nothing.

At the risk of stepping on toes and butchering the “official” principles – I never actually used those that way, I will give you my definition and reasons for getting certified. Scrum is an agile, or responsive, method of creating solutions for complex problems. It is used quite a bit in the highly complex software industry. As a software sales executive for many years, I saw the elegance, efficiency and effectiveness of an agile approach and unfortunately but just as enlightening, I have seen the alternative.

Customers often do not know, or cannot articulate, what it is that they want until they see it. Once they start to see what they requested and what is possible, they often say oh, that isn’t quite it or yes, but what about this and that and could it look this way and do this, too. In developing software, it is important to address changes and course correct as quickly as possible, lest you spend a year creating something that it turns out doesn’t work for the customer or isn’t quite right in some other way. Then you have to go back and start all over. This is why in Scrum there is a deliverable every Sprint period– often a couple weeks.

The beauty of the Scrum team is that it is self-managed. The team all agrees on what can be accomplished during the Sprint and everyone commits to doing their part and getting it done. Here is where the ScrumMaster comes in. Although she isn’t the one doing the work, she helps them stay on track. She helps to protect them from scope creep (other items getting put on their plates that were not part of the original commitment) and generally facilitates the team to work on the stated goal in order to have an actual outcome that is what was mutually determined at the beginning of the Sprint. She is there to listen, encourage and assist in clearing obstacles.

Many things can happen in the Sprint. The ScrumMaster works with the team to identify and manage any issues that come up, as they come up, so that there is still measurable and deliverable progress at the end of the Sprint. So we thought we could do A, B and C but it turned out that A was actually going to take a whole lot of background work so we are going to pull it out of this Sprint and still deliver B and C.

I was fascinated by the whole Scrum process and quite interested in how it can apply to life. I still am. I see that a ScrumMaster is in so many ways a coach, which is now my chosen profession. I got certified to help my coaching skills and it has.

As a coach working with the most complex of systems to develop – ourselves, I work with my clients (who are like the Scrum team as well as the customer) to do so. I help them to define what it is that they desire. And I mean get quite clear on what they actually desire deep down. Most of us haven’t allowed ourselves to really ask this of ourselves. I help to open up the thinking so that new solutions can be explored.

Then, I help my clients to chunk it down into doable pieces. I help them to prioritize for each Sprint, according to what is most important to them (not what is most pressing but what is most important).

I show them how to get out of their own way, to prevent scope creep and to make real progress by the end of the Sprint – whatever that period may be. We make continual checks that they, as the Scrum team, are having actual progress as agreed. And as the customer in our Scrum scenario, we confirm that they are satisfied with that progress or determine what tweaks are to be made, what new avenues could be uncovered or what kind of expansion is to be considered for the next Sprint or Sprints.

The funny thing about being a coach is that pretty much everything I have ever done or learned or seen can end up helping my clients. It is all part of what I bring to the table, the extra set of eyes and ears, the alternate view, the ability to be objective and unbiased about my client’s life. That is what my coach does for me and that is what I do for my clients. For me, it has been life changing, and life giving.

If you would like to learn more about coaching, I would love to talk with you. In the spirit of the “Sprint” that is the second month now of that “new year”, this month I am offering a free coaching session to anyone who would like to see what private coaching is like and what it can do for your career and your life. As with so much in life – first come, first served.

Request your free call here.

Enjoyed an amazing lunch with a dear friend earlier this week. He gave me a new term that I am loving. He described himself as an introvert who loves people. Wow! Yes, that is me as well.

You see, most people would not see me as an introvert. Nor would they see my friend that way. However, I see that he is and I also am in so many ways. I love my time alone. I mean I absolutely relish it and have to have it to recharge, rejuvenate and create.

In fact, I am currently in my treehouse writing this with the view as pictured above. I moved the desk so that I could have that view as I write. Hey, a girl has to take initiative to get what she desires!

For years I told myself I was and promoted myself as an extrovert. The tests showed I was. I can be, of course. Whole truth be told, I answered the questions on the personality tests the way I thought I was expected to answer them. I mean, everyone knows that salespeople are extroverted, right?

They have to be glad-handing and pushy and center of attention all of the time. I am not here to say I have never been those things. But at the core, I am simply an introvert who loves people and loves helping them get what they desire, even and especially if they can’t even define what that is yet.

I am now secure enough to admit that, even though it goes against the mold we have been given. What have you been projecting or advertising yourself as that no longer fits? Go ahead and spill, this is the secret Treehouse Club and there are no judgments or expectations.

How is your confidence? Don’t kneejerk to say “fine” without thorough examination. How are you feeling in your own skin, in who you are allowing yourself to be, what you are doing, contributing, achieving and how you are showing up in the world?

A lack of confidence can be devastating and ever so insidious. It can and does keep us stuck, oftentimes without our knowledge. It can hide in our subconscious only to be revealed in our circumstances and results.

If we aren’t feeling empowered we will most likely not act decisively and thus we will reap the result of that.

If you are like most of us, your confidence can always use a boost, at least in some area. Life’s little disappointments, frustrations and temporary defeats can chip away over time.

Fear not and take heed! The way back is simple. Not easy, but a simple discipline practiced over time and exponentially rewarded over time.

The great news is that having confidence in one area can spur us to have confidence in another. We can build on and borrow from success in one area to another.

What is one thing you can do, that you know you can do well – not too easy or it won’t provide the same benefit – but a doable reach for you?

Playing sports and performing other physical activity are wonderful for this. You get the sense of accomplishment plus the blood-pumping adrenaline as a further boost.

Of course that is not the only way. Any action toward your goal can raise your confidence.

As Nike said it so eloquently, so simply, “Just do it!”

Learning to hear your own voice is pretty powerful and exciting. It is not, however, without its challenges. Being a zombie, just going to work each day, doing as you are told, maybe speaking out here and there but mostly keeping your head down and your production high, can feel much more comfortable.

In reality it isn’t comfortable at all but because you are in zombie mode, your flesh is numb. You have the insulation of years of “this is how it is done” and “don’t get out of line” to cover you. Your inner voice grows dimmer as the days and years go by. That seems so much easier than awakening to the truth. So, despite some urgent callings from within, you press on.

You keep up. As best you can, anyway. You go along. You drown your spirit a little more every day. You use your preferred method or methods – overwork, crazy busy, sleep (or lack thereof), caffeine, alcohol, food, workouts, flirtations, whatever works for you. Until, one day, something happens. Something has gone too far and that something snaps the real you to awaken.

Maybe it is divorce or separation, like it was for me. Maybe it is losing a job, like it was for me. Twice. Yeah, I hit the snooze button a few times. I had to have more than one wake-up call.

My prayer for you is that it doesn’t take you that long or that much. My intention is that even reading this right now, a little more of the real you awakens.

This is your life. You have a choice. You can make conscious decisions. In everything. May not feel like it. You may not like the repercussions of some choices but ultimately the alternative is worse. Trust me. I have been there.

Being the real me and using my true voice is life. And I now love mine!

So we begin another new year. What a powerful time this is!

As I reflect on 2015, I have so much gratitude and awe for all that has transpired. All that I have been able to create, complete and begin.

In 2015, I invested in myself. I hired high level coaches and forged powerful new relationships. I began even more earnestly choosing my own thoughts rather than letting whatever thought popped up prevail unattended.

I left my corporate job and stepped full time into my own business, a business that helps people on a deeper level than anything I have ever done before. And I love it.

2016 is a year of expansion, growth and opportunity like never before. All that we have done in our lives up to and including now has prepared us and paved the way for this year.

Does that excite you or terrify you? Either way, you can make a choice to think better thoughts and take better actions and create better habits right now. Better habits will make 2016 the best year so far.

You hold the key. No one else has it or can use it for you. You decide.

Why did I quit my high paying, safe, cushy Sales RVP job? Because I had to. I found that after years in corporate America, well decades, that I could no longer “do” it. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for the time I spent there. For all I learned. For the money I made, which was relatively speaking quite good. For the people I met and the life-changing relationships we created.

I just found myself drawn to something else. Something more fitting. Something more of service. Something I could really get behind and really be proud of. I found myself looking to serve more personally and more fully. And I found that I no longer desired to be so deeply at the mercy of a company or group or individual. I desired to be more the author of my destiny rather than a player in someone else’s script.

I found myself seeking more freedom to be and do and say and serve the way that I am meant to. I could no longer muster passion, true passion, for someone else’s dream. And the paycheck no longer made up for that disconnect, that incongruence.

I decided to live my life on my own terms and to take charge to create it the way that I decided it would be. So I did. I have. I am.

It hasn’t happened overnight. In fact, it has been just about 5 years to the day when I so profoundly announced while on vacation and over my second (or perhaps even third) glass of wine that “I am done working for The Man!” I had no idea what that meant then. I had no idea how I would make it happen. I had no idea how long it would take me. I had no idea what I would go through in the ensuing years to finally be able to make that a reality. I even had no idea how serious I was when I first said it. Turns out I was quite serious. Quite serious, indeed.

I grew tremendously in those 5 years. I learned a lot. Some I learned the hard way. Okay, a LOT I learned the hard way. And some the not so hard way. I had committed myself to my growth in pretty much all areas. And grown I have, and the growth keeps coming and expanding in ever increasing and deepening ways.

I dropped the drama and the need for it. I know what my desires are more deeply than ever, which shockingly most of us don’t. I know what my gifts and talents are. I know more than ever before in my life what is possible and available for me if I simply ask, allow and receive.

I realize more now than ever before that I am not alone. I have an amazing partner in my husband, a King to my Queen. There are resources, tools and mentors available to me like never in the history of my life – like never before in the history of the world!

We are in a creative age. And I am a creator. You are a creator, too, even if you cannot see it yet.

My work is now a really exciting part of my life, not just a paycheck or ever-escalating obligation. As a Transformational Coach, I help others on this journey. I get paid to do so and I love to do it! What a concept! Helping others understand, see and embrace that they, too, are creators and are capable and responsible for creating their lives. They, too, can make a decision. They, too, can decide today to create something new, something better, something more to their liking and more to their passions in every area of life.

Wanna talk about creating the life you love? Sign up for a complimentary Clarity Call here.

Monday, Monday. Can’t trust that day…

Yeah, I just quoted The Mamas & The Papas. And yeah, I had to google it to see who did that song that popped into my head.

Back to our thoughts on Monday – the start of a new work week. The beginning of another glorious week of accomplishments and satisfaction in what we do and who we are as we do it.

Right?

For me, now, I heartily say YES! For me, for many years, I nauseously said not so much.

Mondays used to involve a long, deep inhale as I drew in enough breath and life to make it through the week. If I can just make it to Friday…

All of that holding my breath caused me to lose consciousness. A little more each day. Until finally I hit the floor.

But then, thank God, I woke up.

I woke up to a whole new way of moving in the world. A whole new way of thinking, acting and being. It’s called me.