Today is President’s Day and my fantastic corporate job gives us the day off. What a wonderful company! It is nearly 3:00 PM and I am just now writing, which as you may know is not my routine. Part of the reason for that is because I have the day off. I was able to tell myself I will get to it, rather than doing it before work hours. And, alas, I have now.

I have worked on several things so far today, many of them corporate job related. I have zero resentment or frustration about that. “Why not? I mean, you are working on a holiday, you nut!” you might think. Well, the reason I do not have anything but gratitude is quite simple. I chose to do it. I was fully aware and made the choice to do it. No one, I mean no one, asked me or forced me to do it, including and especially myself. There were just some things that I could do today that were better done today than tomorrow. So I did them. And that feels nothing but good.

I am not getting any clear topic to write about today. I am in a hurry and I have no topic because I am considering my big to-do list. So perhaps that is the topic. Slow down. Take time to savor each moment for what it is. Be present and there really is no rush. Enjoy what you have this very moment, breathe, and know that everything is awesome right now, just as it is.

No, really, try it.

Ahhh! That is better.

In the past, I thought that accepting your situation was a bad thing. I would never settle! I would never surrender or accept anything really, because I knew there was more. I had it wrong. You waste today by fighting what is for we cannot change the past that led us here. But where you are now is a guide and a blessing for it has so much to teach and so many wonders if you simply look for them.

So then I learned. Accept where you are but have an eye on where you are going. Be grateful for all of the good in your life now and know that it is just getting better. You are making it better by merely having these thoughts and a vision of what you are creating.

If you don’t do both of these steps then you really won’t be able to live fully your best life. If you do not accept and give thanks for where you are now, you are miserable in the now or if not miserable then just numb. And now is all we have. If you do not have a vision of what you desire to create, then you will not live your full potential.

I am only now coming into this understanding. I spent a good part of my life living in the past or the future. I had fleeting happiness in the moments but I was highly driven to accomplish the next great thing. Then I was given the amazing gift of my whole life crashing in on me and I learned to be happy now, with what I was given and to stop pushing. But that wasn’t quite right either, because much of who I am, who we all are, is creator. I had been missing that piece. Now I see that it is easy to live with joy now and to move toward even more, without forcing anything. And doing both feels fantastic!

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Very interesting how something intended to be a wonderful celebration of all things love, can be one of the most difficult times for people who seek it.

This holiday is filled with hype of what it “should” look like. What he better give you to prove that he loves you. What she better do for you. And holy smokes, if you don’t happen to be in a relationship? Then it can feel like the whole world is coupled up with only you as the odd man out.

Many years ago, I decided to opt out of this holiday. Most holidays, really, but especially this one. Because of all of the societal pressure and expectations, I figured I really don’t have to play, so I didn’t. We didn’t.

But now I realize that I am my Valentine every day. That may sound conceited or silly. It really isn’t. If I do not love and accept and respect myself, how on earth do I expect anyone else to do so? If I do not love myself with healthy, abundant and overflowing love, then how can I be expected to love someone else that way?

I find that the more I love myself, the more comfortable I am in my own skin and with what I am all about and what I offer, the more I love EVERYONE else. Including and especially my most wonderful, beloved husband, who blesses me every day by his very presence.

So as Valentine’s approaches, how about deciding to be your own Valentine? No pressure or expectation on anyone else outside of you to do something “right” or pressure on yourself to deliver. Just choose to be your own loving best friend today and every day going forward. You are perfect at it!

What have you put off doing because? And why have you put off doing it? What is that thing you are waiting to do “when”? And when will you know when that “when” is?

The time is now. Now is all we have. You do not have to, and cannot expect to, do it all at once. But there is something that you can do today toward it. Perhaps it is just to accept that you will or won’t do it. If you will, then ask yourself what can be done today, in this 30 minutes, or 15 minutes or one second that will move me forward toward that which I desire?

Now the crucial piece that so many times we dismiss. Do that which you have identified.

It is fascinating how clearly we can see the blind spots that others have and yet we cannot see our own. Of course, that is why they are called blind spots. I do not see blind spots in judgment or as weakness at all, simply as a process on the journey. I have plenty, and I face them as I am ready. I also have a calling to work with people who are ready to look at their blind spots, to face them and thus eliminate them and the issues underlying those.

This is delicate work and must be handled as such. We are all faced with this to some degree in our lives. I have found that it is best to lead by example and speak in terms of best practices for my life and the lives of my clients.

Most importantly, I continue to learn to refrain from advising those who haven’t sought it. That has been a process for me and I practice applying it more every day. If someone is not ready, then it is none of my business. Zero. I send prayers and good thoughts and I see great outcomes for them. However, it is not my place to force my ideas or opinions of how to do something on anyone. If they are drawn here and request my help, then great, that is another story. If not, I let them be and trust that they will get exactly what is necessary when it is necessary in the best way for them. Perhaps they need nothing at all and anything contrary was only my opinion.

When you have done all you can, stand. Just be. Release the need to control outcomes that are outside of you. Know that you have done your best and that whatever happens will help you. You will get your desire. You will get a great education so that you can improve. And/or you will get something different and likely better than you had thought, only you couldn’t see it before.

This is a very simple concept and one that will eliminate much if not all of your (dis)stress if you apply it consistently. It is simple, but it takes time and commitment to practicing it before it becomes second nature. We have been conditioned otherwise. We have been conditioned to keep pushing and pressing and trying to control everything. The wonderful news is that you really can control all you need to control, and practicing this teaches you how. To control your own thoughts and thus, your actions and behaviors, gives you the control that we all as humans seek. It gives you the life you seek as well.

It may seem hard to get started and you have likely heard this advice before but haven’t “done” it. I help my clients to apply the concepts not just learn them intellectually.

You may have noticed that I like questions. My titles are almost always questions. I have written articles entirely in question form. I suppose I have always been inquisitive. Now, I am embracing that even more.

I am once again questioning everything in my life. That may sound scary for some of you and I suppose it is because when you ask questions you may not get the answers you expect or want. That doesn’t make the question wrong.

I have decided that I would rather know the truth than to just accept all of my assumptions as truth. Limiting thinking, insecurity, doubt, and secrets all hate to be questioned for they know they will be found out. Those things that are true do not mind being questioned, for their truth will shine through and stand even stronger.

What have you questioned lately?

I will head home from California today. It will be great to be home and it was great to be here. I have learned many lessons on this trip, ones I thought I already “knew.” Clearly, I didn’t know them as well as I thought I did.

My body has told me over the last few years, as I really started listening, that it does not prefer dairy. Yesterday, I must have gotten some because I didn’t ask. I had the soup of the day and I suspect that, even though it wasn’t obviously cream based, it had some cream in it. It was good, but not worth the puffy eyes I have today. If I am going to have puffy eyes, it better be because I savored some incredible aged cheese. It better have been cheese that is so delicious and flavorful and I experienced every single taste and texture and pleasure in that baby. Not so with the soup, so I live and learn.

My body is worth asking. My body is worth giving it the things that best fuel and support it. My body is worth forgoing things that don’t.

Morning two here in California. I just love it here. I mean, in Southern California, there is a whole lot to like. Of course many would say that there is a whole lot not to like. To each his own but I prefer to focus on the good of wherever I am. For there is good all around and we take that good with us wherever we go.

The contrast to that is to go in thinking upon all of the bad. Thinking about how sad and awful it is to be away from family, how this trip is a waste of time, how frustrating everything is because it isn’t going the way we would like. Guess what? You will get exactly what you think.

The trip in itself may not go the way you would like. You may not get to meet with the people with whom you had planned. You may not get the weather you wanted and yes, your family and friends are not with you. However, YOU decide what the trip is like in the moment. None of those circumstances matter, really, to your personal experience of the situation. How about being present and really watching and experiencing your life, today, around you in this place? How about noticing all of the cool and unusual and fantastic things you see, hear, smell, touch, taste and feel? Now is all we have. Are you going to waste it thinking about all that isn’t now? What you focus on you get more of. It is simply how our minds work. It is also how the universe works but we can save that for another discussion.