I am on the road today for the first time in a couple of months. For us road warriors, that is a very long time. So long, in fact, that I am out of sorts, having forgotten several important pieces of my travel kit. Normally, I have a mental checklist and these things are pretty much no brainers. But because I got out of the habit, I missed some things.
One of those things was to test to make sure I could post from my “work” computer, because carrying two is not my cup of tea. And I did, actually, remember to bring my tea.

So, I am not sure when this will get posted and I apologize if you had to wait for it. What matters most is that I am writing it and it will get posted at the right time. Cementing the habits is such an important thing to do, as I have now just taught myself by forgetting the items I did. By not having the items on this trip, and especially by not having the capability (at least yet) to post each day, I have learned a very valuable lesson about the checklist and how quickly habit can wane, especially if you “think” you know it and thus do not need a refresher. Proof showed in this case, that I didn’t “know” it at all. Excellent! More awareness and the wonderful growth that comes from that.

Today is my best friend forever’s birthday. And not just any birthday but a big major milestone birthday. She has chosen, perhaps jokingly, perhaps somewhat seriously, not to celebrate said milestone birthday. Well, I celebrate her no matter what and she is better than ever!

She is an amazing woman and she becomes more so with every passing year. I have known her now for decades and the growth I have seen in those years has been dramatic and all in a good way. But she is still the same sweet girl, the funny, caring, loving girl who is up for anything.

She is beautiful and kind and sharing. She gives and receives well, which is a real blessing and something I have learned from her. She is gracious and thrilled when given a gift, whether it is a card or a car or compliment. Thank you, Lisa, for teaching me how to bless the giver and myself by thankfully accepting the gifts and blessings others bestow, great and small, rather than telling them oh, no you shouldn’t have or no, let me pay, etc.

I used to think I was being humble and kind by always offering, ok, insisting on paying. I also regularly told the gift giver oh, you shouldn’t have spent so much on me, blah, blah, blah. I also would say, oh this old thing you just complimented? I have had it for years and the cat used to sleep on it and threw up on it once. I hope there is no cat hair…

How much better to bless the giver, as Lisa has always blessed me, with a genuine thank you! And a big smile of gratitude. Everyone goes away empowered and joyful from that exchange.

Happy Groundhog Day! What a glorious day it is, too! I don’t know if Phil has or will see his shadow. Nor can I remember which way it is supposed to go if he does or doesn’t. But I do remember the movie.

Bill Murray is excellent in it as he relives the same day over and over and over. He is stuck. Like many of us feel stuck sometimes, feeling like we are reliving the same day over and over. But he has really been given a wonderful gift. As he realizes this, he makes quantum leaps in progress. He realizes that he has choice. He starts to take advantage and make better choices, incrementally, slowly, day by day, because he feels like he has nothing but time.

By the end of the movie, he can play piano like a pro, is friends with everyone in town and gets the girl because he really pays attention and gets to know her. He is transformed. All in a day. Because he felt he had nothing to lose, he tried so many things and eventually he was able to continuously make good choices that added up. We, of course, don’t exactly see all of that in the movie but we intuitively know that is what happened. He took risks he normally wouldn’t have taken. He made choices to spend his time in ways he normally wouldn’t. He eventually chose wisely when he realized he could improve his situation.

We may not get to live Groundhog Day every day but we do have choices to make every day. What would happen if we decided to act as if this was the day we had to live? The choices we make do add up over time, and just like they were for Bill Murray, they are transformative in the aggregate. Life and death have been set before you, choose to celebrate and give thanks for life or to complain or worry into death. It is your choice. I help people see their choices more clearly and make better decisions.

My niece is getting married today. It is so exciting! They have so many wonderful times ahead. And some challenges and adjustments. You cannot really explain the latter to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. We all go in thinking we “know” that there will be some trials of varying degree but we cannot really know until we have been there for a few. The learning and growth comes in how we handle the trials.

A couple weeks ago we had a shower for her, as is customary. It was a lovely gathering at an absolutely gorgeous home. I met the hostess and complimented her on it. She said yes, we worked and saved and had a goal. Beautiful!

The attendees were mostly young friends of the bridal couple with a few of us aunt and mom types thrown in for fun. We played the requisite game that seems to come with these events. But this game was actually fun and helpful. We were each to write one piece of advice for the young bride and then the longest married attendee would decide the winner. The responses were surprisingly good bits of wisdom. Even those who had scoffed at writing something because they haven’t yet found “the one” offered excellent tips for living a better married life. One of these young ladies suggested being yourself and taking time for yourself. Perfect! As the lovingME life lady, I was so proud that one of the other girls was helping me spread the word!

My advice was short and to the point. Stay in the positive room. These are words for each of us every day, actually, not just for gushing brides on the cusp of their wedding day. Staying focused on and grateful for every good thing in your life is the recipe for a wonderful marriage, a fantastic career, just a joyous happy life that keeps improving and growing. The alternative, which is all too easy to do and follow when others start – to go down the path to the complaining room – leads to certain pain and frustration. What we focus on and tend to grows. Why would anyone want to grow anything but the good stuff?

We still get the daily newspaper. You know, the paper one. The one they throw in your yard every morning at 5 or 5:30 AM. I still remember how grown up I felt when I moved into the first house, my wonderful town home, I bought (with help from Mommy and Daddy, of course) at 23 and ordered my own paper delivery. That piece of it seemed so grown up and responsible for some reason, to get my own copy of the Telegram.

Much has changed in that 25 years. Not the least of which is that newspapers are completely obsolete. We are inundated with new and more efficient ways of news delivery, 24/7/365. The paper has shrunk and shrunk in that time, especially in the last few years when readership levels have plummeted. It is no longer a part of American life. Americana, yes, but not how we live today.

Tomorrow is the last day for our delivery. I didn’t renew this year despite my affinity for our paperboy, who is a 60 or 70 something wonderful man named Bill. He is Carrier of the Year. I am melancholy about it because I do like the feel of the paper in my hand. I like the excitement of looking to see what’s in the paper. I can scan and skip anything that isn’t pertinent all on one easy page.

Unlike most everyone else on the planet I do not get other news sources like Yahoo, nor do I watch TV news or anything of the like. This is by design. I guard my mind like the temple it is so I do not allow just anyone or anything in. That is easy for me to do with the paper. I simply do not allow anything in that doesn’t help me. I think on things above. I have my own definition of that, of course, and you may not agree with it. That’s okay, I respect your opinion of what is important for you. For me, living this way brings energy, life, freedom and joy like I have never known before.

Farewell, friend Telegram. I celebrate you and all the wonderful years we had together.

How much of your time do you spend worrying? If you are like I was, it is a lot. More than you realize because you are not conscious to it. I used to spend an inordinate amount of time worrying. I would worry in anticipation of something not turning out well. I would worry in regret about some past action or mistake or just something that happened. It would permeate my thoughts throughout the day. I would tell myself I was preparing. Preparing what? Preparing to live some day? I only recently realized how much of my time I had been spending in the past and the future. And in versions of those that robbed me of my now.

I now realize that now is all that matters. What can I do now? The past cannot be changed but it can provide excellent teaching. The future is determined by the now moments strung together. Now. So let me live now, do now, be now, appreciate and give gratitude now for now.

Now, your turn.

Do you know someone who is so completely awesome and everyone loves them and admires them? They just bring something wonderful to the mix every time they are around. They have that certain “something” and it is infectious and leaves you with a pleasant or inspiring feeling. You just feel better being around them, or learn something from them each time or see things in a new way because of their view.

And yet, they do not see it in themselves. At all. They do not realize how much they offer and give other people just by being who they are. They may even get down on themselves and be depressed about their situation or daily circumstances and wonder why they are where they are. Don’t you just want to hug them and tell them how great they are?

I invite you to consider:

A) Doing that, today, for the people who came to mind as you read that (virtual hug is fine or for the dudes, just a “hey man” will do.)
B) That it is you, my friend. You are that amazing person that everyone is better for having known.

I don’t think most of us give much consideration to our environment. I don’t mean “the environment” with the green and tree-hugger movement, I won’t go there today. I mean our personal living and working environment. For some of us, that is essentially the same location with different assigned rooms or areas. But for others, you have an off-site office or space where you do the majority of your work. Either way, you can make improvements to the area you have, ideally separating your work area from home areas as much as possible (for me, upstairs is plenty – no need to drive anywhere!). I recommend this for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that creative work energy switch you will activate when you enter that place.

I used to live in a cluttered and disoriented space. My office was a wreck, with papers stacked- in case I needed them and to “remind me.” I would just keep stacking. I bought some really nice office furniture and still ended up stacking papers all over it. I never realized how that affected me until I unloaded all that yuck by creating a beautiful office space.

Looking at all of those undone tasks, even though my conscious mind had long since blurred it out, was draining my energy and creativity and focus. Having a useful, convenient, efficient and aesthetically pleasing space makes a huge difference in so many areas of our lives and our work is a major one. The clutter monster is something that happens so slowly and subtly that we don’t notice the steady and increasing drain it is putting on us.

Of course, it can be overwhelming to think of getting things in order. Especially if it has been many years since you have dealt with the piles. It doesn’t have to be. Choose your thoughts and choose to look at it as a gift you are giving yourself. Do one small area at a time to completion, even if that is one drawer or one section of one drawer. Then move to the next, put it on the calendar and do a little each day. Reward yourself for the progress you are making and celebrate. Or call a friend who is great at this. You likely already have one. Get some professional assistance. Let it be you, though, not your organizer’s idea of you. Bring in things that move and inspire you. That is the lovingME way. You will find a new spring in your step and a new wave of energy that will surprise you.

Sometimes you can hear something so profound that it changes your life. Sometimes it flies right by if you are not open and ready. When you hear that thing or read it, and you are aware enough to know that it is profound and important, it only makes sense to contemplate it. It only makes sense to really take time to digest it and examine it so thoroughly that you become intimately familiar with it. And most importantly, to begin to apply it right away, even if imperfectly. And to keep applying and examining and tweaking until you truly know it.

In the fast paced world of today, most of us don’t believe we have time to do this. We think hmmm that is interesting, great thought or idea. Then we move on with the other million thoughts and to-dos. To take time now is ultimately the biggest time saver there is.

What a glorious day it is today! It is a crisp winter morning and the house heater is on as well as the little Dyson heater I treated myself to earlier this season. That was one of the best gifts I have given myself.

You see, I have always preferred the warmer weather or even what some would call hot weather. I used to lament the winter, practically holding my breath until it was over. This year, I have decided to embrace it. I cannot change it and it is too long to wish away. If you think about it, any time at all is too long to wish away. So how about we change how we think and thus feel about it?

That is what I have chosen. I still prefer spring and summer and warm weather but winter has a lot of good as well. Providing contrast is not the least of these. We love to go on island vacations during the winter. Part of that appeal is getting away from the colder weather at home. It would still be fun to go, but without the contrast, it would be less of a welcomed break. Citrus is amazing now. It really doesn’t taste as delicious any other time of year. Right now, each day, the sun is up a little longer. I love that. I like to see just how dark it is now and how the light just begins to take over more and more. There are so many incredible things to notice and appreciate every day and doing so adds so much depth and breadth and joy to my life.

What are you wishing away? What are you just holding your breath to get through? Why not consider reframing it and enjoying the ride?