At the core of the lovingME life is knowing yourself well enough to know what you truly desire. You. Not your kids or your spouse or your boss or anyone else. What is it that you would like to see in your life?

Oh I know exactly what I want, I have these goals and I have them listed, blah, blah, blah, you say. Okay. But really, how much thought have you given it? Without imposing “realistic” limits. Do you know what your best vocation is? I say vocation, not job. The difference being that a vocation you would do for free and perhaps already do but you don’t have to! You can make more than you have ever made in your life if you embrace and pursue this. When you work with the skills and abilities that God has given you and you have honed, there is no stopping you. Even if you don’t believe that now, still give it thought and see what you find.

Do you know what your ideal day looks like? Where are you, what are you doing, what are you wearing, how are you conducting yourself, who is with you?

Do you know where you like to vacation? Not where you do now, most likely, but bigger, if money were no object. How about where you would live? How about your relationships? Who would you have in your life and how do you interact with them? What do you give them and what do they give you? I don’t mean material things but it is okay if that is part of your desire.

Do you know what your ideal body looks and feels like? What about your energy level, focus and passion?

How about your relationship with your Maker? What would you like to see there? Have you ever even considered that?

Take some time to think about these things. Find out what moves you. If you don’t know yourself enough to know where you want to grow to, what are the odds of you making it happen? I am not suggesting that you go off the rails daydreaming so much that you become ungrateful for the life you currently enjoy. Ah, the contrary as we will discuss more in coming days and weeks but getting clear is a wonderful gift you can give yourself.

What does taking great care of yourself mean? Well, it means taking time to know yourself and to do those things that promote well-being in you. Most of us don’t really know what that means for us because we have never taken time to pay attention. We just barrel ahead and do what is there or what is commonly recommended. Often we jump from one recommendation to the next. Nothing wrong with that, really. It is important to try different things in order to learn what works for you and equally important, what doesn’t.

The trick is to actually take note of how you (your body, spirit, mind) respond to the things you try, rather than just bouncing from one thing to the next. Is it really helping you to do a juice fast? Do you feel better? Do you feel better when you don’t eat meat? Are you more energetic and powerful when you have animal protein? Does your body really respond to running for long periods? Does your body really need 9 or 10 hours of sleep? Does it do well with 4 hours of sleep? Does watching TV help you relax or does it end up sapping too much of your time and energy? Watch and observe. Get to know yourself. We are each different. My likes and dislikes are not going to be the exact same as yours or anyone else’s. That is okay. What makes me thrive may crush your spirit. Learn what makes you thrive and then act accordingly, adjust over time as you grow and change. That is the lovingME way.

A major component of and result of the lovingME lifestyle is taking great care of yourself. I say component and result because at first it is a conscious decision and over time it is just what is and what happens. That can and will mean different things for different people and at different times in our lives. Knowing and growing in understanding of yourself is a never-ending process. As you go deeper, things change, priorities shift and choices become much easier or even automatic.

Think about something that you love, some physical object now or in the past. It may be your wedding ring, your Shelby Cobra, your baseball card collection, whatever. Now, when you got that thing and knew how much you loved it, how did you treat it? Was it hard to take care of it? Was it an option not to care for it properly? Was it difficult not to make decisions that would put it in harm’s way? No. Not at all. It was easy. Non-negotiable.

As you love yourself more fully and you know yourself and what helps you or hurts you, it is like that. You can no longer continue to do the things that hurt you or hold you back. Even if they feel good. Even if they taste great. Even if they were on sale. Even if it is easier.

Have you noticed any habits that might be holding you back? Have you thought of any habits that you would like to adopt? Some say that you cannot ever really rid yourself of a habit but you can replace it with another. I am not so sure about that. I used to bite my fingernails as a kid and even young adult and I no longer do that. I simply don’t feel the need or have that kind of anxiety that needs to be released. That comes from my joyful and relaxed, powerful mindset. Many old less useful habits fall away the more joyful and relaxed I become. Relaxed does not mean submissive or lazy, by the way. It is a knowing that everything will be okay and that I can effectively deal with whatever comes, while forging forward along my journey.

There is often a lynchpin habit that will lead to advances in a host of areas. The lynchpin can be something you need to leave behind or that you need to replace or that you need to add. For me, having a conscious deliberate morning routine was that lynchpin. I think it can be for nearly everyone.

Mine started with a simple day planning tool I found called Simpleology. Before that I had found and started doing Holosync meditation. Before that I found my way back to a personal relationship with God. So you see even the lynchpins add upon each other.

Consider doing one of the above. Or find your own and implement it with regularity every day until you feel off if you skip it. Then keep doing it and add another. It is best not to add too much at once lest you get overwhelmed or discard the whole process because you bit off too much at once. These actions you choose now create the life you seek. They are additive and exponential so they don’t need to be rushed. I help people create these habits and stay accountable and true to their desires.

Yesterday, we talked about a powerful mindset and how it is an integral part of the lovingME life. Having awareness and surrendering to the process are also key components we discussed. Another large piece is habits. Or rather, developing great habits.

The nice thing about developing great habits is that the process of doing so can absolutely change your life over a relatively short period of time. It can even help to change your mindset and how you feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Because you are a spirit living in a body here on earth, it is all connected. The habits you have today are determining how you feel on all levels. Once established, habits are often unconscious routines that are acted out all the time with little or no conscious awareness or input. That can be a fantastic thing! Or, as you may be aware, a not so fantastic thing.

Take some time today and watch your habits as you go through the day. Get up, go to the bathroom, drink some coffee, shower and get ready, grab something portable for breakfast so that you aren’t late, get in the car, drive the same route as always, etc. How much awareness and conscious thought do you normally bring to that routine? (Routines are simply a series of habits that cohabitate.)

What if you changed something in that routine? Stay tuned. It gets interesting.

Another of the key components of living the lovingME life is developing a powerful mindset. Being able to choose your thoughts and to focus on what helps you versus what hinders you. Staying in (or quickly returning to) the positive room vs. dwelling in the negative room.

Our thoughts make up our lives. How we spend our time thinking is how we end up living. We are constantly thinking so if you tend to think about the bad things you have experienced or might experience, you are spending a whole lot of time in an uncomfortable state. It is also a paralyzing state for most people. What we think about or worry about we attract. There is more science that supports this now than ever. But the advice to think on things above has been around for thousands of years.

Do we take that advice? Only when we are actively applying the knowledge that we have is it really useful. Only then is it true wisdom. Again, we must become aware of our thought patterns and whether they are helping us or hurting us. Whether they are even true or not. For most people, the majority of daily thoughts are not true but we have inherited, learned or accepted them as truth so we act as if they are.

These are things like – we have always done it that way, that’s just the way it is, I have to be right, to make mistakes is fatal/embarrassing/punishable/to be hidden. Other things include I have to “do” something to be worthy or loveable, I must conform or be outcast, my life would be better if I had X or if I looked like Y, getting my to-do list done is my most important goal, if I don’t make my target, I will be fired or disrespected and that would do me in.

Consider these thoughts. It is likely that you have many of them. Some are more stealthy than others but most of us learned these things long ago and never questioned them. It is time to do so.

Last week, I mentioned the lovingME lifestyle involves accepting what is and forgiving. Today I am applying that pretty heavily. You see, I made some silly all or nothing decisions over the holidays. I know that I feel better, think better, do better when I eat the foods that support that for me. And more importantly, when I refrain from eating those foods that don’t support me.

I got caught up in the holiday spirit and I indulged. A lot, for me. And because I know that it isn’t my norm, I decided that I would, again for me, go all out and cram in all the stuff I don’t normally eat – hence the all or nothing. I did this from Christmas Eve until yesterday, some days more so than others.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I feel way off my normal high today. Was it worth it? I am going to say yes for a couple of reasons. Number one, it was delicious. I made the goodies myself so they were homemade with love. I also savored them perhaps more than ever because I wanted to be mindful of every flavor, knowing that they were a special treat and that they were not part of my every day. Number two, I have learned so much through it. I learned how my body reacts and how types and amounts do matter. I also learned that peer pressure is still pretty powerful if you let it be. I learned to watch myself as I do these things that I know are not in my long-term best interest. It is fascinating how that self-sabotage can work. I learned that one treat needn’t derail a whole holiday season.

Most importantly, I learned that it is all good. I can forgive myself and take my learnings to heart. I am better for the whole thing. Truly, I am, for my awareness is increased and my sense of choice is enhanced. 90-10 is my new mantra. It isn’t all or nothing. It is life.

So we have talked these last few days about the lovingME lifestyle and the fact that it involves honoring, loving, respecting and knowing yourself. We learned yesterday that it also involves surrender.

The first step in this process is awareness. Awareness on many levels. Awareness and willingness to even want to look at your life. Awareness of where you are right now. True awareness of who you are. Awareness of what you really want and desire. Awareness of what your gifts and interests are. Awareness of how your thoughts and actions have sabotaged you over the years. Awareness of how you can now leave that behind as you surrender to the process.

Surrender means to accept what is. To accept what was. To forgive (including and especially yourself) and to open up to the changes needed whilst celebrating how far you have already come and where you are today. To cooperate with the Maker in becoming all that you were designed to be. Most of us fight this on a regular basis. When we finally accept it, real change, real growth, happens at light speed.

Yesterday we explored the basis of the lovingME lifestyle, which includes honoring, loving, respecting and knowing yourself just as you are today. It also includes growing yourself but that comes as we go along. The more we can accept ourselves now and really know ourselves, the more we end up growing.

Wait, you just said to accept myself and now you are talking about growing like it is a goal. Well, it is. The stuff of life is to grow and improve and contribute. That doesn’t mean that who and where we are today isn’t to be celebrated and accepted. The acorn accepts that today it is an acorn. It doesn’t give up in the process of becoming a tree, however. It does its acorn thing. And then in time, it is no longer just an acorn but a sprout erupts from inside of it, roots grow deep. It will never be an acorn again. The acorn was a necessary and wonderful part of its life. Getting cracked and buried by the squirrel were necessary as well.

So as we go through today, think of all of the things in your life, the good things and those that felt like cracking and burying. Know that they all got you here. Accept them and give thanks for them. Surrender to the continued process. Every part of it prepares you to fully express the life you have inside of you. It isn’t too late. It is perfect timing.

Happy New Year! Today is the best day of your life so far. How does that resonate with you? If it doesn’t, perhaps you could use some more lovingME ways in your current lifestyle.

What is the lovingME lifestyle? It is a way of honoring, respecting, knowing and loving yourself every day, right where you are. It is receiving the love of our Creator, knowing that He wants you to have it. He loved you so much He gave His only son!

So the beginning of the lovingME lifestyle, and regardless of your beliefs on this your benefits will ensue, is to accept the love that is all around you and within you for you. For you, exactly as you are today. Not when you lose 5 pounds, or finish that project or make that sale, no, right now today. Not for your kids or your neighbor who really needs it. For YOU. There is plenty for everyone else as well.

You are worthy. You are unique. You are awesome. You have been created with certain and specific gifts to contribute to the world. You have a role and the world needs you to step up and step into the real you and bring that forth to the rest of us. Your spirit is crying out to be seen and heard.

Let that sink in. Sit with it. Pray about it. Ask for more awareness and wisdom. We will talk more tomorrow.